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Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

#21347835
76 comments

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45589) - you deserved it (7597)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

#41
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43298) - you deserved it (9043)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Crawling -

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

#117
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63726) - you deserved it (8703)

On 10/28/2008 at 7:13am - intimacy - by loon - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22895) - you deserved it (2688)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

#1634
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (29002)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (2660)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38752) - you deserved it (1897)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37454) - you deserved it (4058)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML

#92098
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38229) - you deserved it (16204)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

#123831
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48905) - you deserved it (5488)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

#171623
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50246) - you deserved it (8300)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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