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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (12659)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

#21081418
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41230) - you deserved it (7564)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm - animals - by chuchundra (woman) - United States

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

#21090227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (7475)

On 03/18/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by holyshitsnacks - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34007) - you deserved it (5240)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43067) - you deserved it (6238)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

#21113585
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51396) - you deserved it (4039)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:01am - love - by cricha4208 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

#21134602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41766) - you deserved it (3967)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:35am - misc - by mlowy - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

#21123459
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (4366)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML

#21157939
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44361) - you deserved it (3853)

On 05/31/2014 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39191) - you deserved it (4985)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44203) - you deserved it (3277)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (3402)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42225) - you deserved it (4881)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)



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