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Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

#19469205
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (2093)

On 04/14/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by ProsserBabe11 (woman) - United States

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

#19574398
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18122) - you deserved it (2228)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm - love - by AnonymousUser (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20090) - you deserved it (1254)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20588) - you deserved it (1808)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7281) - you deserved it (22585)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

#20037883
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (1298)

On 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

#20040149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (2009)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

#20016514
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (1916)

On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

#20035907
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17427) - you deserved it (1464)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by baffled (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (6829)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

#20463766
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (1996)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:03am - work - by Beva (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25129) - you deserved it (3896)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

#20499511
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26437) - you deserved it (1859)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh (woman) - Kenya



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