Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80729) - you deserved it (16692)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10291) - you deserved it (43431)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

#3973992
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31387) - you deserved it (4000)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:45am - health - by SBT1030 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

#5182605
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36314) - you deserved it (1989)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML

#5174930
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (15682)

On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

#5579779
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37723) - you deserved it (1680)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by egged (man) - Singapore - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was leaving the mall. I Instinctively hit the unlock button on my car keys from across the parking lot. Little did I know I was making it a whole lot easier for the guy breaking into my car. FML

#4297641
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39098) - you deserved it (11228)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying out for a play I really wanted to be in. After my audition, I was feeling really good. She said she would post the cast list tomorrow. Not knowing where she would post it, I asked her. Her reply? "It doesn't matter. You won't be on it anyway." FML

#5303014
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (2655)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by Kat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13215) - you deserved it (8472)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

#6036914
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/28/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by Rhea (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML

#6166479
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21899) - you deserved it (1976)

On 11/05/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

#6211440
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16439) - you deserved it (1395)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm - misc - by lauren_rox (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

#6335196
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (1592)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: