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Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (2782)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (2270)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40231) - you deserved it (4279)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33048) - you deserved it (4260)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

#21246190
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37059) - you deserved it (4927)

On 08/27/2014 at 12:56am - love - by Iamthatgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30100) - you deserved it (5590)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML

Today, I tried a soup sample at a supermarket. An employee then came over and started asking me questions about how I got the cup for the sample, telling me it wasn't store policy to just give out sample cups. I was so stressed that I broke down crying in the middle of the supermarket. FML

Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

#21212865
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44728) - you deserved it (3664)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:45pm - money - by what people do for money - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (3656)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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