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Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

#20078083
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30272) - you deserved it (1851)

On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16686) - you deserved it (10857)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (1890)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

#20086255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18765) - you deserved it (2144)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

#20079097
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (1576)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (19133)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (3126)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26233) - you deserved it (8647)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38899) - you deserved it (9304)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37158) - you deserved it (2197)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (15896)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (2266)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25676) - you deserved it (6783) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)



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