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Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36741) - you deserved it (3795)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML

#21094928
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (5348)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

#21123459
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40785) - you deserved it (4155)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (4372)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41081) - you deserved it (3993)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

#21151195
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42111) - you deserved it (6889)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm - health - by 5p4571k (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

#21151208
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36340) - you deserved it (5978)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:46pm - love - by aww, such a nice guy. NOT (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38520) - you deserved it (5703)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

#21227320
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43048) - you deserved it (3654)

On 08/02/2014 at 1:35am - love - by bertiebeth - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39723) - you deserved it (3348)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

#21212865
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44675) - you deserved it (3659)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:45pm - money - by what people do for money - United States (Texas)

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

#21223271
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (8796)

On 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm - work - by dorrisdoes - New Zealand

Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML

#21233543
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33229) - you deserved it (19579)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by ThatsNotGrass (man) - Canada



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