Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

#20097224
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21906) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

#19847673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17554) - you deserved it (5654)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:59pm - misc - by hearingthings (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (3601)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you deserved it (2941)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML

#19999670
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (5409)

On 08/03/2012 at 1:24am - love - by DeeGirlMon (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

#20078083
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30273) - you deserved it (1851)

On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16687) - you deserved it (10857)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24235) - you deserved it (1890)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

#20086255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18764) - you deserved it (2145)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

#20079097
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19411) - you deserved it (1576)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33345) - you deserved it (19133)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31151) - you deserved it (3126)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26234) - you deserved it (8647)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: