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Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

#21347835
76 comments

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (3189)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (4536)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35372) - you deserved it (2933)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

#21296899
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34245) - you deserved it (4391)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29858) - you deserved it (6109)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML

#21334755
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (3846)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by so much for romance - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

#21331580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (5112)

On 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by i_am_forever - United States (California)

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (3182)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

#21335495
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34286) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:03am - love - by yankeeboy123 - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

#21363273
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26130) - you deserved it (1848)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:53am - misc - by need sleep - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (7597)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -



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  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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