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Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (2798)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (1748)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (3236)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

#21325320
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/27/2014 at 2:14pm - love - by is_that_right (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18224) - you deserved it (26529)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (3771)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (2349)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28664) - you deserved it (4460)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30230) - you deserved it (2897)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to wax my eyebrows. My entire eyebrow came off. FML

#21421754
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21683) - you deserved it (12416)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Eyebrowless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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