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Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

#20809869
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (20023)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45164) - you deserved it (3183)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

#20834558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48798) - you deserved it (2658)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

#20841179
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44514) - you deserved it (8557)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by Suprise - United States

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42267) - you deserved it (3320)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44343) - you deserved it (3294)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML

#20897674
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45366) - you deserved it (2889)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:20am - love - by kitkat3308 - United States

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49800) - you deserved it (3194)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (9601)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44167) - you deserved it (3004)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

#20939479
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49495) - you deserved it (3712)

On 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

#20931468
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35454) - you deserved it (2307)

On 10/23/2013 at 6:41pm - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML

#20963001
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you deserved it (2860)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:51am - work - by Not impressed. - Canada (Ontario)



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