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Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

#20811045
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41871) - you deserved it (3361)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (61652)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43351) - you deserved it (3045)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (3123)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

#20929016
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53017) - you deserved it (3912)

On 10/21/2013 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

#20916786
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by broke_broken - United States (Utah)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40696) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

#21013314
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (2696)

On 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by Okay_Then (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

#21016256
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44041) - you deserved it (3773)

On 01/04/2014 at 2:21am - animals - by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37866) - you deserved it (4210)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36754) - you deserved it (11928)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43625) - you deserved it (4998)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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