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Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

#14635663
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24412) - you deserved it (5031)

On 01/19/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Lebanon

Today, I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. I was settling in when my alarm clock that was stashed in one of the boxes began ringing. Two hours and several boxes later, I still can't find it. FML

#14249611
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (5061)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

#13561259
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27100) - you deserved it (3591)

On 10/23/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Dude - Singapore

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

#14815475
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22852) - you deserved it (5621)

On 02/02/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by hehe -

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

#14647412
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29025) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (10139)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29815) - you deserved it (3561)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

#18318800
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25080) - you deserved it (2007)

On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

#17503246
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27486) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21546) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

#19566407
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19298) - you deserved it (2154)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

#16322705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26463) - you deserved it (3378)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

#19211891
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19674) - you deserved it (3018)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:51am - animals - by raven_teen_titan - United States (California)



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