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Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10258) - you deserved it (16055)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML

#14207405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7869) - you deserved it (22655)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by dumbass (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML

#13927499
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (3153)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my custom printed Christmas cards that I reviewed twice before ordering, came in the mail. This year I will be wishing everyone a "wondeful" holiday season. I'm an elementary school teacher. FML

#14126790
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9203) - you deserved it (20805)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

#13081753
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26143) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:43am - love - by anime_love - United States

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (3089)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, I had a headache when I woke up for school. I had final exams that day, so I took what I thought were 2 advils. They were two sleeping pills. FML

#13837654
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16203) - you deserved it (22555)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

#9021886
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21325) - you deserved it (5343)

On 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

#13764979
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (3685)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:34pm - health - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20760) - you deserved it (4104)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (2634)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML

#12797652
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6439) - you deserved it (31134)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by constantine - United States

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26247) - you deserved it (3365)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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