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Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML

#20536687
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (3734)

On 03/09/2013 at 4:05am - work - by hairdresser (woman) - Australia

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39841) - you deserved it (3539)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45619) - you deserved it (8448)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

#20581805
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34124) - you deserved it (3217)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

#20616531
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48043) - you deserved it (3729)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27349) - you deserved it (33514)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40986) - you deserved it (4824)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

#20627066
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40018) - you deserved it (15477)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

#20658454
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36599) - you deserved it (13189)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42466) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28517) - you deserved it (38156)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)



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