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Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML

#8992744
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (1753)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by er1133 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

#12797067
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21854) - you deserved it (3809)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:21am - love - by nottelling7012 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldnt have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriends excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He isn't laughing. FML

#12715880
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30883) - you deserved it (3746)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:30am - love - by XxDiabolikalXx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say "Hello, my name is-" I sneezed right in her face. FML

#13686698
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21511) - you deserved it (5578)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19312) - you deserved it (2242)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I learned that you can be qualified for a position, be a nice person and enthusiastic about working, but as soon as the boss has a relative looking for a job, nepotism wins. FML

#14197641
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (2358)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML

#12850151
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (6167)

On 09/01/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by deserted - Sent from mobile version

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

#13561259
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (3593)

On 10/23/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Dude - Singapore

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

#14842863
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (6381)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by nosleep (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML

#14650881
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9658) - you deserved it (29409)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

#14647412
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (2660)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML

#14678100
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12217) - you deserved it (31704)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by RBHSWedgieGirl (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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