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Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

#593537
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (75857)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

#961162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40617) - you deserved it (12283)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

#1729820
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42156) - you deserved it (6402)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Bucks9 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML

#5719092
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36430) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

#5793499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (7022)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:21am - money - by Dora (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was refereeing a kid's soccer game, and noticed that on the field next to me was a referee I hated working with. I told the other referee I was working with that he was the laziest and most dumbass referee I had ever worked with. She then slapped me, and told me that it was her grandpa. FML

#5734528
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7382) - you deserved it (36092)

On 10/09/2009 at 1:48am - work - by y0uw1shy0ukn3wm3 - United States

Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML

#5539236
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31201) - you deserved it (3353)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

#3777907
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8257) - you deserved it (52277)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Alex - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

#4208368
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8901) - you deserved it (48809)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by anonymouschicka (woman) - United States

Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML

#3911129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37365) - you deserved it (4198)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

#5064237
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6892) - you deserved it (42576)

On 09/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by indecentcameraexposure (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

#5154574
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32116) - you deserved it (2357)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm - work - by slashteddy (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML

#5394523
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8794) - you deserved it (21913)

On 09/21/2009 at 3:08pm - intimacy - by dontpanic (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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