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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10762) - you deserved it (28208)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

#20093240
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/29/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by bluefrisky - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

#20079097
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (1578)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditiorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and clapped. FML

#20069005
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23389) - you deserved it (3483)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:11pm - misc - by conspicuous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23171) - you deserved it (1941)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17493) - you deserved it (2176)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

#20156411
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26453) - you deserved it (1521)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (3778)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML

#20422819
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27789) - you deserved it (2668)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by marriedtoatool - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32561) - you deserved it (3688)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

#20535215
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (3724)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by seriously wtf (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28091) - you deserved it (8039)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28683) - you deserved it (19316)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States



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