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Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58926) - you deserved it (4777)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

#56080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10241) - you deserved it (36639)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:31pm - health - by LA (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

#87320
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45843) - you deserved it (3596)

On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

#113033
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77359) - you deserved it (4740)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML

#459732
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82308) - you deserved it (9477)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by notenoughsex (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

#520285
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90440) - you deserved it (32906)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

#593537
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (75856)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

#961162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40616) - you deserved it (12283)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

#1729820
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (6402)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Bucks9 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML

#5719092
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36427) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

#5793499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (7019)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:21am - money - by Dora (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was refereeing a kid's soccer game, and noticed that on the field next to me was a referee I hated working with. I told the other referee I was working with that he was the laziest and most dumbass referee I had ever worked with. She then slapped me, and told me that it was her grandpa. FML

#5734528
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7383) - you deserved it (36092)

On 10/09/2009 at 1:48am - work - by y0uw1shy0ukn3wm3 - United States

Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML

#5539236
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (3353)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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