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Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

#14585832
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (6764)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:38am - love - by hollysofly - United States (California)

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

#18181534
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17684) - you deserved it (4102)

On 11/07/2011 at 1:49am - work - by Courtney - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After calling her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

#15893530
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23723) - you deserved it (3579)

On 04/23/2011 at 1:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I cleaned my computer screen for the first time in ages. When I turned it on a few hours later, I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out why the brightness was suddenly so painfully high. FML

#19424189
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5331) - you deserved it (21911)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:12pm - misc - by strokingitasitype (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

#16500750
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30460) - you deserved it (2844)

On 06/04/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by A (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

#19336064
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15960) - you deserved it (4405)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm - love - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18526) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

#19214388
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19277) - you deserved it (3435)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm - health - by breebree-0 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML

#19304528
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16417) - you deserved it (4458)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:09pm - animals - by tickdog - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML

#17468026
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (2361)

On 08/14/2011 at 6:34am - misc - by Motherly Love - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18922) - you deserved it (1623)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

#19952787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16143) - you deserved it (1526)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:06am - health - by tm - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

#19225607
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14465) - you deserved it (5651)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:20am - misc - by BlueBirdWings (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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