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Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24364) - you deserved it (11851)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31790) - you deserved it (2500)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29143) - you deserved it (3042)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22739) - you deserved it (15283)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135) - you deserved it (6)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (1839)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

#21399578
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (2738)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:42pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learnt that the girl with who I've being going out for 6 months, has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

#379
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38992) - you deserved it (3304)

On 11/24/2008 at 1:08am - love - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML

#3824312
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41250) - you deserved it (2457)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by msj137 - United States

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (5226)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (5404)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13204) - you deserved it (29541)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)



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