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Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36440) - you deserved it (7603)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, at college, I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attached. Hoping to find contact details, I googled the name on the back of the card, just in time for him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile like some kind of stalker. FML

#17760345
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19379) - you deserved it (11504)

On 09/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (2119)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML

#17716770
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20257) - you deserved it (12916)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by dangit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

#18959231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (3801)

On 01/31/2012 at 6:07am - health - by Arielle (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (2704)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

#19667338
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25225) - you deserved it (2193)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

#19743960
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (2275)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8625) - you deserved it (27785)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6679) - you deserved it (24585)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (1496)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18920) - you deserved it (2517)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML

#19705989
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25610) - you deserved it (2265)

On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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