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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML

#17520336
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (2465)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:59pm - misc - by bandit99999 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

#18034258
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (2692)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (2044)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (6452)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23808) - you deserved it (2564)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

#18037423
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (12743)

On 10/21/2011 at 7:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (1748)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

#17754607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (3424)

On 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm - work - by MrTandy - United States (New York)

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

#19601816
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8721) - you deserved it (26382)

On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML

#18242720
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22009) - you deserved it (3076)

On 11/13/2011 at 11:46pm - health - by mintypoison (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22352) - you deserved it (1426)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML

#19142645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (10788)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - health - by SmallTownCutie -



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