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Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

#6966482
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4934) - you deserved it (38798)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Unfortunate (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found that my Facebook account had been hacked, and all my friends were deleted. As I tried to add them all back, Facebook reported me as a hacker for adding too many people too quickly. FML

#6792843
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28447) - you deserved it (3203)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by gotthewrongman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (2549)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML

#6843918
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23473) - you deserved it (2704)

On 12/20/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by B-Rizzle (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14962) - you deserved it (2515)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

#7002403
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (2075)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by DOGSNACHER (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

#7008039
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10727) - you deserved it (23512)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (4010)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

#7493259
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21607) - you deserved it (7431)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by noooooo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (5054)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

#7396048
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24242) - you deserved it (3580)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10255) - you deserved it (16054)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML

#14207405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7863) - you deserved it (22644)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by dumbass (woman) - United States (California)



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