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Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9664) - you deserved it (27558)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (14173)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (1958)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (2250)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6594) - you deserved it (19234)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

#19708728
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19172) - you deserved it (2084)

On 05/31/2012 at 7:29am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML

#18117452
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (2296)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

#18279451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22759) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

#19404981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (2539)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7503) - you deserved it (28782)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

#19250645
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (3652)

On 03/10/2012 at 10:16am - love - by callen5 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20872) - you deserved it (1973)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

#19705574
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17809) - you deserved it (1726)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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