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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

#16246614
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11665) - you deserved it (22352)

On 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10001) - you deserved it (37510)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26737) - you deserved it (14234)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

#18795812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38828) - you deserved it (3046)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML

#17520336
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (2465)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:59pm - misc - by bandit99999 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

#18034258
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (2692)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (2043)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (6452)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23809) - you deserved it (2564)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

#18037423
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (12588)

On 10/21/2011 at 7:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (1748)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

#17754607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (3424)

On 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm - work - by MrTandy - United States (New York)



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