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Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML

#21269595
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32889) - you deserved it (2624)

On 10/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by Vkaz (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34620) - you deserved it (8367)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40407) - you deserved it (6490)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried a soup sample at a supermarket. An employee then came over and started asking me questions about how I got the cup for the sample, telling me it wasn't store policy to just give out sample cups. I was so stressed that I broke down crying in the middle of the supermarket. FML

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42375) - you deserved it (6828)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32359) - you deserved it (4859)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (4424)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

#238
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14526) - you deserved it (62352)

On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38302) - you deserved it (20433)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

#374
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11763) - you deserved it (25708)

On 11/23/2008 at 3:22am - misc - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8381) - you deserved it (35747)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

#1634
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6684) - you deserved it (27061)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)



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