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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

#12365331
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13571) - you deserved it (30045)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Zinfandel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

#12850855
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (2734)

On 09/01/2010 at 4:27am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

#13742493
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (2205)

On 11/06/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was "Clean your glasses." FML

#14284829
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

#12986689
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6185) - you deserved it (17189)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19492) - you deserved it (10335)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML

#13123963
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20292) - you deserved it (2531)

On 09/20/2010 at 2:13am - work - by sandra - United States

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

#13919732
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (2760)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Random Person - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML

#15106533
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (4050)

On 02/24/2011 at 8:56pm - kids - by Gretchen -

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (7322)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

#17630821
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19707) - you deserved it (1441)

On 08/31/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by EwwGross - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

#14619610
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (5478)

On 01/17/2011 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by No O-face (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

#15259296
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (4204)

On 03/10/2011 at 2:53am - misc - by jules - United States



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