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Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22243) - you deserved it (2415)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

#17909794
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6458) - you deserved it (30151)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by nooooooooob - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML

#18269786
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13226) - you deserved it (25813)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by tramplily - United States

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (3926)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

#19625329
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (4190)

On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (1950)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22855) - you deserved it (1702)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)

Today, while taking the trash out, the old cranky elevator in my apartment complex finally gave up on life. For a long hour I was stuck between floors 4 and 5, practically embracing my bio-waste can. FML

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (3026)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

#19790589
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23518) - you deserved it (2221)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by Rose (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML

#19892376
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (5054)

On 07/04/2012 at 8:50pm - money - by jenjam (woman) -

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17061) - you deserved it (1693)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

#20066828
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6572) - you deserved it (26291)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States



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