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Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33336) - you deserved it (2646)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

#21370369
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38) - you deserved it (2734)

On 03/08/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24182) - you deserved it (2052)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29398) - you deserved it (2676)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (11850)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29131) - you deserved it (3040)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (15275)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116) - you deserved it (5)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I learnt that the girl with who I've being going out for 6 months, has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

#379
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38976) - you deserved it (3302)

On 11/24/2008 at 1:08am - love - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML

#3824312
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41244) - you deserved it (2456)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by msj137 - United States

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (5224)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30319) - you deserved it (5404)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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