Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

#6826046
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (3365)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

#6779771
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11671) - you deserved it (31713)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out I've recently developed a bladder control issue. Every time I lift anything more than about fifteen pounds, I pee myself a little. I work in a warehouse. Heavy lifting is my job. FML

#7216883
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (2412)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by mcpeepants (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending text, email, or calling, but placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

#7222174
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (4101)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by farmvillefail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was seated, once again, at the "too small" children's table. I'm twenty. FML

#13977736
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26682) - you deserved it (3004)

On 11/25/2010 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you deserved it (3363)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

#7353412
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28918) - you deserved it (5790)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:02am - love - by Rin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

#7301581
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6026) - you deserved it (39527)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by Busted (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML

#7570028
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (2667)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my bank account was in the negative because my work gave me a check that didn't clear. I went to my bank to get a statement of charges so my job could reimburse me. They told me requesting a statement costs 8 dollars, which I don't have because my account is in the negative. FML

#7591885
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (2467)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:33pm - money - by tinaburrito - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (2927)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22380) - you deserved it (4684)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML

#8012707
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you deserved it (1925)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by dmachin - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: