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Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

#16938868
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24040) - you deserved it (5840)

On 07/01/2011 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

#18761652
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14241) - you deserved it (33899)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

#19071963
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (4632)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by makeupsex (woman) - Canada

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34217) - you deserved it (16461)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

#18093581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21658) - you deserved it (2513)

On 10/28/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18220) - you deserved it (12883)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

#19636097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16634) - you deserved it (3212)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

#18353001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11213) - you deserved it (30271)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

#19603666
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (1920)

On 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by brannonjames - United States

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (1304)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML

#20045096
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you deserved it (1461)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML

#19545053
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6437) - you deserved it (27933)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by faux ma (woman) - United States (Florida)



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