Choose the period

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

by xxmollyxx / 12/16/2010 at 6:54am / Sweden / Animals

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

by fouryearswasted / 12/19/2010 at 12:14am / United States / Love

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

by lonelyengineer / 12/19/2010 at 5:28am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Love

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00am. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 12:08am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give 5 adjectives describing myself. I listed 7. The last one being "listener." FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. You would think he could at least spell my name right while ending our relationship. FML

by bunnyyy / 01/07/2011 at 3:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

by will3000 / 01/12/2011 at 8:28am / Work

Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML

by superdriver / 02/07/2011 at 12:46pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Transportation

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 4:36pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

by suzyyy / 02/23/2011 at 4:18am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

by storyofmylife / 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

by ieatoreos / 03/11/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

by lonelynessinCA / 03/14/2011 at 2:31pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous