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Today, while on holiday in England, a cute boy came up and asked where I'm from. When I said Paris, he gave a look and said, "Oh, strange, I always thought Parisians were the most beautiful women in the world." FML

#233
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41007) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/06/2008 at 8:01am - love - by frog - United Kingdom (London)

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19000) - you deserved it (6670)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you deserved it (25297)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30852) - you deserved it (8579)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5452) - you deserved it (23046)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (2871)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML

#125458
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49087) - you deserved it (22934)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by LockandKey - United States (Illinois)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64474) - you deserved it (2600)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39575) - you deserved it (2592)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55827) - you deserved it (12072)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (49648)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

#3225149
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34893) - you deserved it (2200)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

#3477913
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (1531)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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