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Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39566) - you deserved it (2592)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55818) - you deserved it (12071)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (49645)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

#3225149
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34890) - you deserved it (2200)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

#3477913
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41959) - you deserved it (1531)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

#5705079
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (10724)

On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I took my best friend out to dinner for my birthday. She gave me a gift after I paid the tab saying, "my mom thought you would like this - it was expensive." It was a lovely set of origami paper, which was the exact set I brought her as a souvenir from Japan. She was right, it was expensive. FML

#3189875
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36885) - you deserved it (2142)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by unappreciated (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, on the train home, two drunk guys decided to sit next to me and make casual conversation. This was fine until one decided to take a drink from his beer. While he did, he sneezed in my face. I still smell like beer. FML

Today, after playing in an online casino, I won £200. Being pretty tight for cash at the moment I was pretty excited. I then tried to withdraw it to be told that I can't have a penny of it because I didn't register my card details first. FML

#3333689
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14696) - you deserved it (34777)

On 06/29/2009 at 10:30am - money - by Jeepers (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, the girl whom I have loved for 4 years told me that she loved me too and would like to spend her life with me. This was before she told me that God did not want us to be together. FML

#11909
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (1773)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by thesparrow (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML

#17181
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36980) - you deserved it (4122)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by Nator (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

#21964
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (2894)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

#138318
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12909) - you deserved it (65487)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:01pm - intimacy - by banana (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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