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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37851) - you deserved it (4208)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

#21067284
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39660) - you deserved it (2934)

On 02/21/2014 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43427) - you deserved it (12888)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I ran into my favorite teacher from high school, the one that really inspired me to become one myself. I told her that I'm in my last year of college preparing to become a teacher, to which she replied, "Wow, they really are letting anyone have a crack at being a teacher these days." FML

#21067542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42451) - you deserved it (4450)

On 02/21/2014 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I set up a small social gathering for a few friends. One of them didn't have a ride, so the others, who'd already shown up, went to go give him a ride. After no sign of them for a whole hour, I called to see what was wrong. They went out to eat and completely forgot about me. FML

#21075503
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45074) - you deserved it (4073)

On 03/02/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

#21105380
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (5787)

On 04/05/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you deserved it (10373)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (3795)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML

#21094928
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41850) - you deserved it (5347)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

#21123459
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40755) - you deserved it (4150)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43631) - you deserved it (4372)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

#21127541
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you deserved it (3276)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:13pm - kids - by pleasestop (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (3991)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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