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Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

#21391103
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (2138)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:28am - work - by jobless - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (2683)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (37532)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mother asked me how pasta is harvested. She actually thought it grew out of the ground. FML

#21408925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (2160)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:37pm - misc - by a - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27413) - you deserved it (2351)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I've learnt that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

#51
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54324) - you deserved it (14146)

On 10/26/2008 at 8:07am - love - by etsl - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9852) - you deserved it (56990)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (1674)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (43006)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

#12002
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46516) - you deserved it (3910)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by iamnotfat (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74799) - you deserved it (3974)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55370) - you deserved it (3473)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

#268539
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71183) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)



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