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Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

#1178108
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13885) - you deserved it (61989)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML

#1414687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (41745)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:50am - love - by Mikey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting this little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park so we did. When we were walking back, I was caring her on my back. When were almost at the door, she told me she had to go pee. I told her to hold it. As we were walking in the door I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

#1589486
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41975) - you deserved it (15619)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by Dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked up my passport, as my previous one was damaged in a car crash. As the teller warns me that a pattern of damaged passports will result in longer processing periods, she spills her coffee - all over my new passport. I'm supposed to go overseas in a month. FML

#1707668
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55750) - you deserved it (1932)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I checked my bank balance, to make sure that the last installment of my funding had been paid in, and realised that I'd been overpaid by £500. So, being honest, I told my boss about this. Turns out, I wasn't overpaid by £500, I was overpaid by £1000 and need to give it all back. FML

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

#4737465
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12326) - you deserved it (34351)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Idiot (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided to change her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in the relationship with. FML

#4533889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48102) - you deserved it (5063)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by waitthatsnotme (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my first speeding ticket. Looking it over, I was surprised to see that the officer listed my height accurately despite never having seen me standing. I complimented his uncanny ability and asked if it was part of police training. He then informed me that he read it on my license. FML

#4264438
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6453) - you deserved it (55706)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML

#5544276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30645) - you deserved it (5764)

On 09/29/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by User06606 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's Twitter account that I didn't know existed. A recent entry states that living with me is pathetic; "it's just that the current economical situation doesn't leave her with many options." FML

#5840798
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30195) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Good_old_Grim (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

#5758309
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33159) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, my boyfriend threw me a going-away party. During the party, I caught him in my bedroom hooking up with my friend because "you're leaving soon anyway so it doesn't matter." I'll only be gone for 6 weeks. FML

#4694053
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (2791)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by lonelyinlondon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

#4193534
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41385) - you deserved it (3105)

On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)



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