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Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (3618)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML

#5526901
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36879) - you deserved it (19372)

On 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm - love - by Greg (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my wife to block the mail of her ex (because he was sending her romantic mails) or I would leave. She told me that I could leave. FML

Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML

#5791962
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28210) - you deserved it (3498)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML

#5203219
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (7784)

On 09/12/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Lonely (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36588) - you deserved it (11646)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to this meditation center which my mom suggested to get mental peace as I have been hating my job and life for some time now. I drove for an hour and then walked around in scorching Indian sun for 2 hours trying to locate the damn place. I got lost and returned home angrier than ever. FML

#4758974
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31221) - you deserved it (6519)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by zboy_123 (man) - India (Haryana)

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

#5751188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14000) - you deserved it (31595)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

#3851520
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:15am - love - by Phoebe (woman) - Singapore

Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML

#4987188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33518) - you deserved it (6138)

On 09/01/2009 at 10:17pm - kids - by pinks (woman) - United States

Today, my son couldn't find all the parts to his Cub Scout uniform. I had a serious talk with him about being prepared, and how he would need to live with the consequences of not having the right outfit on. When we arrived at the meeting, everyone was in costumes because it's Halloween. I forgot. FML

#6056189
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6341) - you deserved it (39643)

On 10/29/2009 at 3:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

#5938925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (33151)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - animals - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (38896)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)



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