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Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38524) - you deserved it (6339)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37499) - you deserved it (6738)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (3466)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (20424)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

#374
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11747) - you deserved it (25658)

On 11/23/2008 at 3:22am - misc - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8371) - you deserved it (35706)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

#1634
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6677) - you deserved it (27017)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41110) - you deserved it (9805)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

#5129906
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37377) - you deserved it (6957)

On 09/08/2009 at 4:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (37546)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14789) - you deserved it (64830)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

#247252
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54794) - you deserved it (11678)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML

#264101
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61869) - you deserved it (6049)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)



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Friday 19 September 2014

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