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Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML

#20932303
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38437) - you deserved it (5786)

On 10/24/2013 at 11:52am - work - by s13495 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

#20944193
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (3228)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:53pm - love - by I am not amused! (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML

#20980543
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43048) - you deserved it (2391)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

#21006865
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32704) - you deserved it (2379)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

#20983819
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39183) - you deserved it (2817)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm - health - by :^( (woman) - Bahrain (Madinat)

Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML

#20999362
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38548) - you deserved it (3693)

On 12/20/2013 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we need to talk. I think he dumped me, but I'm not sure, because he muttered it in Russian and quickly left. FML

#21009542
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40181) - you deserved it (3250)

On 12/29/2013 at 5:58pm - love - by RustyRuski (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (3217)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36694) - you deserved it (3490)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41993) - you deserved it (5716)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (7132)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML

#21089760
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33612) - you deserved it (3888)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:10am - work - by aziraphaleelle (woman) - United States (California)



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