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Today, the security at the airport were nice enough to remind me to take the laptop out of my bag. I wish they'd also reminded me to put it back in before I left. FML

#21250584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37261) - you deserved it (11341)

On 09/02/2014 at 3:48pm - misc - by A continent away (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (8355)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (2936)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37494) - you deserved it (6738)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40378) - you deserved it (6487)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42356) - you deserved it (6823)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (6338)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

#21258936
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (5900)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by lucas_urev - United States (New York)

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38258) - you deserved it (20424)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

#374
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11748) - you deserved it (25658)

On 11/23/2008 at 3:22am - misc - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8371) - you deserved it (35707)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

#1634
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6677) - you deserved it (27017)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (9805)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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