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Today, I've learnt that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

#51
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54279) - you deserved it (14141)

On 10/26/2008 at 8:07am - love - by etsl - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9835) - you deserved it (56943)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (1670)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

#12002
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46467) - you deserved it (3908)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by iamnotfat (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74766) - you deserved it (3971)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55244) - you deserved it (3464)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

#268539
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71139) - you deserved it (3271)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

#882663
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51550) - you deserved it (10623)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:16am - misc - by atang (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML

#2255530
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (11829)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kiki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

#3440456
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (7063)

On 07/02/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by Heethersays (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter asked me if we can make sticker art. Of course I said it was ok so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

#2935296
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37010) - you deserved it (5572)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:35am - kids - by inboxbuddies (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML

#3380750
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36318) - you deserved it (16409)

On 06/30/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my motorcycle was stolen from the 4th level of my “secure” gated parking garage. I strategically park it tightly between my car and a concrete wall to limit theft opportunity. They scratched my car trying to get it out. FML

#2885254
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44338) - you deserved it (3464)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by stolenbike (man) - United States (Georgia)



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