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Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19332) - you deserved it (2149)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

#14055521
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (2547)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML

#12530791
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (3658)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

#13895610
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28366) - you deserved it (2538)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

#14415178
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (5509)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by haappynewyear - United States (Utah)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10537) - you deserved it (36193)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

#13452838
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6868) - you deserved it (24142)

On 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm - work - by edodge (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

#14120407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21952) - you deserved it (2429)

On 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rattness (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

#14006967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30100) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/28/2010 at 1:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

#13606061
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18540) - you deserved it (6433)

On 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by DriveMeNot (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (2881)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, my fiancé ended our engagement, saying he wanted to have "one last quickie" for the road. He saw nothing wrong with that. FML

#14787217
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31658) - you deserved it (3666)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML

#14621087
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35155) - you deserved it (3164)

On 01/18/2011 at 12:05am - love - by MCKilllerrr - United States (Texas)



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