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Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10170) - you deserved it (31197)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34681) - you deserved it (3126)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML

#20443641
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21984) - you deserved it (1491)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Sad nerd (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33501) - you deserved it (2120)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (3264)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10695) - you deserved it (25134)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34870) - you deserved it (5497)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26696) - you deserved it (7577)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (8764)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32501) - you deserved it (2853)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36881) - you deserved it (2158)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (8791)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38558) - you deserved it (6667)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)



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