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Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

#20745284
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65124) - you deserved it (4558)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51137) - you deserved it (4452)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46524) - you deserved it (3451)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML

#20706766
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54914) - you deserved it (4028)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:22am - health - by TooSunnyForSkin - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52500) - you deserved it (5854)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48623) - you deserved it (8332)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (7470)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (5780)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML

#20794141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49409) - you deserved it (3348)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THE CUSTOMER (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47964) - you deserved it (10225)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

#20825212
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42317) - you deserved it (4124)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18585) - you deserved it (38308)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML



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