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Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49583) - you deserved it (11456)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML

#9
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49832) - you deserved it (14425)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:21am - misc - by RatQuiRit -

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

#38
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12224) - you deserved it (38406)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - love - by SweeT -

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26049) - you deserved it (1599)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (5420)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (9700)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8780) - you deserved it (37974)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find that the entire ceiling in the kitchen of my apartment had caved in due to an extremely leaky water pipe. The same water pipe maintenance said they had fixed three days ago. FML

Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML

#86332
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68361) - you deserved it (3055)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:24am - misc - by OutoftheLoop (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML

#169078
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19401) - you deserved it (40343)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

#14263039
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (6900)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:20pm - love - by hugme101 (woman) - Canada

Today, I accidentally left my concession card in the photocopier. I then got fined for not having a concession card on the train. I was photocopying it for a letter to get out of a fine for not having a concession card. FML

#2881369
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11531) - you deserved it (34505)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:16am - money - by LordAdam (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

#3285415
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45880) - you deserved it (3779)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)



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