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Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (5064)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML

#21157433
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36265) - you deserved it (3993)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:33pm - misc - by save me (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

#21159082
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32869) - you deserved it (7972)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:28am - animals - by Fat Arsed Lass - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (4319)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

#21168163
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42600) - you deserved it (15048)

On 06/09/2014 at 12:28pm - work - by deservedly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39820) - you deserved it (4101)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

#21173638
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you deserved it (5012)

On 06/13/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49451) - you deserved it (11441)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML

#9
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49830) - you deserved it (14424)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:21am - misc - by RatQuiRit -

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

#38
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12224) - you deserved it (38404)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - love - by SweeT -

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (1600)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (5419)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (9699)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)



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