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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

#13397678
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8863) - you deserved it (25948)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to present a powerpoint in front of my class. When I was finished, no one clapped. On my way back to my seat, I slipped on a pencil and fell straight on my face. That's when everyone clapped. FML

#15121676
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (4092)

On 02/26/2011 at 12:34am - misc - by Franigirl - United States (Virginia)

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

#14073142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (2941)

On 12/03/2010 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9780) - you deserved it (33643)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (2818)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

#13886918
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24254) - you deserved it (7008)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

#8993130
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17639) - you deserved it (4180)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by StretchNuts - United States

Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20012) - you deserved it (3436)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21251) - you deserved it (2955)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (2613)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

#13864593
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10186) - you deserved it (32670)

On 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my cousin had moved to Texas. I would have been okay with it, were it not for the fact that not only did I loan him $3,500, but I was supposed to go with him too. FML

#14187285
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (3899)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29am - money - by Reasondon - United States (Michigan)



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