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Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

#20808032
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (3045)

On 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovenia (Ruse Commune)

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42179) - you deserved it (9108)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43767) - you deserved it (3123)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML

#20829072
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41708) - you deserved it (8819)

On 08/09/2013 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by whyyjustwhy - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

#20835654
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (3676)

On 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm - love - by Zanovitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML

#20833678
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you deserved it (6761)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:09pm - health - by notmansbestfriend (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

#20854811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40345) - you deserved it (3102)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by 4_and_20_blackbits (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39430) - you deserved it (4371)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38933) - you deserved it (4831)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (2802)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML

#21014713
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42660) - you deserved it (3495)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by neta_1996 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm now able to put my acne cream on my face without having to look in the mirror, because I've memorized the crater and trench-filled war zone that is my acne-riddled face. FML

#21016650
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39851) - you deserved it (3546)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (35620)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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