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Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

#12860469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22454) - you deserved it (7602)

On 09/01/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by Rollymouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

#14732721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (1985)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by brrrr that's cold! - United States (Colorado)

Today, due to my lagging browser, I accidentally "liked" a status my friend made about the deterioration of her relationship. Then, the computer froze, making it impossible to "unlike" it immediately. My friend won't accept that it was a mistake. FML

#15206605
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24699) - you deserved it (5141)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

#14128663
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28259) - you deserved it (4637)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:40am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

#14297205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20775) - you deserved it (4947)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

#14635663
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (5026)

On 01/19/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Lebanon

Today, I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. I was settling in when my alarm clock that was stashed in one of the boxes began ringing. Two hours and several boxes later, I still can't find it. FML

#14249611
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21506) - you deserved it (5050)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19207) - you deserved it (2234)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

#13561259
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (3581)

On 10/23/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Dude - Singapore

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

#14815475
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22420) - you deserved it (5567)

On 02/02/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by hehe -

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

#14647412
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28940) - you deserved it (2656)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (10125)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29720) - you deserved it (3556)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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