Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

#18144949
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25510) - you deserved it (3892)

On 11/03/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

#19072071
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (2404)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:56am - love - by ThanksMum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22140) - you deserved it (2747)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (3055)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML

#19092080
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12263) - you deserved it (30085)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Kramer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the only reason my phone ever rings is because someone needs help with their computer. FML

#19672620
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17879) - you deserved it (1947)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by that guy - United States

Today, my boss reprimanded me in front of the rest of the staff for "not following instructions" because I went to a company meeting. I have the email from him telling me to go to the meeting. He thinks I faked it. Unemployment sucks. FML

#20036858
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (1526)

On 08/23/2012 at 1:24am - work - by BrokeButSmart - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21040) - you deserved it (6239)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19993) - you deserved it (10365)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

#20438400
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9137) - you deserved it (41481)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

#19931500
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27240) - you deserved it (1638)

On 07/13/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

#19885470
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (2403)

On 07/03/2012 at 11:08am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20459) - you deserved it (6523)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: