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Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (4374)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

#18837494
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8270) - you deserved it (27925)

On 01/17/2012 at 7:21pm - health - by Matchtopia - United States (Kansas)

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

#19486401
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (1836)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

#19187266
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (2119)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

#19894625
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (2039)

On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (2256)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

#19620502
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20968) - you deserved it (2261)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (2211)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

#19566748
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (3534)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

#19625329
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20153) - you deserved it (4516)

On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (3427)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, the guy I have been seeing left town to visit his family for three weeks. A few hours later, he called me from the airport to say he is never coming back. FML

#20076048
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (1927)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:15am - love - by jlee0000785 (woman) - Australia

Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML

#20046195
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24105) - you deserved it (1799)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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