Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17033) - you deserved it (2334)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20366) - you deserved it (1573)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

#19939674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (1833)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:51am - work - by kerensa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

#20063395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17141) - you deserved it (2056)

On 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm - health - by balletteacher - United States

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

#20092439
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15169) - you deserved it (9567)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22848) - you deserved it (1349)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML

#20121056
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (1764)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:52pm - misc - by ThreeTimesUnlucky - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML

#20105161
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17289) - you deserved it (4402)

On 10/07/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (4481)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (1742)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

#20484025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (40820)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: