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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML

#21299788
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (7438)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27575) - you deserved it (2344)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (438) - you deserved it (2732)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (4254)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (4431)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (7031)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (4141)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (5051)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML



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