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Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

#13038622
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (5887)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by Drunk - United States (Alabama)

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27290) - you deserved it (2266)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

#14548821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7643) - you deserved it (30701)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

#14497966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28652) - you deserved it (12901)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (11951)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9364) - you deserved it (33261)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was invited to a party to celebrate my ex-fiancée's recent engagement. The party is at work, because my ex is also my boss. Her new fiancée is some guy she met while on a "business trip" that happened while we were still engaged. FML

#18142584
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33381) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/02/2011 at 9:45pm - love - by lebowski101 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (2556)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

#19318105
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6294) - you deserved it (46595)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by George Saunders - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

#17801056
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (3222)

On 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

#15861693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31116) - you deserved it (4031)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by sosadstudent (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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