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Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

#6998610
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25676) - you deserved it (2688)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled and said "well, now you'll need a hat." FML

#7196833
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (2242)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22516) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was doing my paper round. I got to the last house and thought I had done everything right. I checked my list of houses, and I had done every single one wrong. I went and got all the papers back and delivered them again. That was when I realised I did them right in the first place. FML

#7231970
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9002) - you deserved it (28076)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:14am - work - by Harry (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20861) - you deserved it (4494)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

#7563782
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14320) - you deserved it (3835)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML

#8012707
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25511) - you deserved it (1715)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by dmachin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

#18926835
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20056) - you deserved it (1901)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5590) - you deserved it (27168)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper is actually ice. After a bit of struggle I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML

#8580764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17645) - you deserved it (5960)

On 02/23/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Good_old_Grim (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33747) - you deserved it (2954)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

#13673101
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (5261)

On 11/01/2010 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

#14222571
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (4030)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



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