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Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44503) - you deserved it (4148)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (6554)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

#21289188
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34189) - you deserved it (2789)

On 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm - health - by peanutprobs - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32316) - you deserved it (4470)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking an order for a patron at the casino. The policy is to "pay first." After explaining this to him, he still refused to pay. After years of being polite, I finally cracked and said, "You are making this really f-ing difficult". This particular patron was our CEO's son. FML

#21228632
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39205) - you deserved it (13040)

On 08/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by really though? - United States (Delaware)

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37407) - you deserved it (13039)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32) - you deserved it (2237)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (3399)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

#21391103
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29793) - you deserved it (2127)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:28am - work - by jobless - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML

#21373841
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (2402)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:47pm - love - by scared and alone (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

#21330219
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (9359)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:42pm - misc - by Malina - Australia (New South Wales)



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