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Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (7585)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML

#15124262
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (5205)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:18am - intimacy - by horriblegf - United States

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

#17284232
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (4624)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:51am - work - by Rick - United States (Indiana)

Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML

#9350215
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (4252)

On 03/24/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by Clauric (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27989) - you deserved it (2604)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

#17681752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (1714)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:33pm - misc - by aroman2312 - United States

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

#15898424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22923) - you deserved it (2469)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by wet (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (1360)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41439) - you deserved it (3674)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

#17801951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8839) - you deserved it (47841)

On 09/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9645) - you deserved it (27512)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26499) - you deserved it (14161)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)



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