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Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML

#5659886
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41274) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/05/2009 at 9:55am - love - by Konstantine (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

#5741744
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (4341)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:52pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

#4992534
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22448) - you deserved it (6178)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

#3793812
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40108) - you deserved it (5764)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by joking0303 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking down the street in downtown Charleston where there are a lot of horse-drawn carriage tours and I decided to pick up some litter. Some of it was in a puddle of water, but after I picked up the trash, I realized the puddle was horse urine. FML

#5953331
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (8394)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Leash (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML

#6029575
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30026) - you deserved it (4202)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by ilovemybrother (woman) - United States

Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh... Thats actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML

#5862542
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (7709)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by oopsjsp90 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (3639)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

#6602015
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (13030)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by lamed (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (2038)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

#6315427
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (32919)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned I have over $10,000 in debt, despite never owning a credit card. Apparently, my ex-roommate had been replying to the credit card offers I was receiving in the mail. That also explains my missing driver's license a few months back. FML

#6290019
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (2600)

On 11/13/2009 at 5:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

#6379842
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10546) - you deserved it (31618)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)



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