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Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41348) - you deserved it (3830)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48344) - you deserved it (14416)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

#20567033
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45195) - you deserved it (3235)

On 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by unknown - France

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss' way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

#20584939
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32957) - you deserved it (7717)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by Directionally challenged - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52358) - you deserved it (2721)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (3031)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53530) - you deserved it (7513)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47208) - you deserved it (2952)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58264) - you deserved it (3154)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37008) - you deserved it (8686)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

#20716871
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50973) - you deserved it (3750)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40502) - you deserved it (2403)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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