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Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32685) - you deserved it (4221)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

#21300231
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by INeedaNewJob (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (3226)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

#21296899
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34112) - you deserved it (4381)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)

Today, as I was laying in bed in my dark room, with only my phone's light on, a huge moth flew around it and directly into my open mouth. FML

#21285341
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (4726)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:47pm - misc - by j_portal - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

#21314459
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31580) - you deserved it (3443)

On 12/09/2014 at 2:15pm - kids - by Amore (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45493) - you deserved it (7588)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (2678)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38649) - you deserved it (1891)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML

#92098
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38147) - you deserved it (16168)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)



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