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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my little nieces and nephews were about to have a water balloon fight. I was told to take pictures. They hit me. And my $600 camera. FML

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

#469671
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (54235)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

#525590
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62912) - you deserved it (6694)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

#1050390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41660) - you deserved it (6655)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by bluemonday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and I when we got married. FML

#2775360
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16089) - you deserved it (38937)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

#3607672
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8229) - you deserved it (54048)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by StUbbY (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into work to change a shift I was unable to work. I phone the first person on the employee sheet and they promptly answer by saying "You still work here? I thought the manager fired you..." I was fired last week and have been showing up for shifts without anybody noticing. FML

#3572353
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (5570)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:21am - work - by mannnnn (man) -

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (37516)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

#3230818
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49145) - you deserved it (6188)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Ipickthegoodones (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

#1780717
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10147) - you deserved it (51260)

On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

#1847078
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (2635)

On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML

#5069
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44839) - you deserved it (6764)

On 02/02/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by rained - Hong Kong

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41426) - you deserved it (3701)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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