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Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

#17801951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8839) - you deserved it (47839)

On 09/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (27512)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (14161)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (2246)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6565) - you deserved it (19193)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

#19708728
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19127) - you deserved it (2080)

On 05/31/2012 at 7:29am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

#18279451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22707) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

#19404981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19662) - you deserved it (2533)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7481) - you deserved it (28734)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

#19250645
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (3649)

On 03/10/2012 at 10:16am - love - by callen5 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20824) - you deserved it (1970)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

#19705574
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (1724)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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