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Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML

#14189532
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8865) - you deserved it (20848)

On 12/13/2010 at 10:27am - health - by lakb -

Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

#14128663
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (4563)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:40am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

#14297205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17789) - you deserved it (4576)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

#14635663
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (4931)

On 01/19/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Lebanon

Today, I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. I was settling in when my alarm clock that was stashed in one of the boxes began ringing. Two hours and several boxes later, I still can't find it. FML

#14249611
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20413) - you deserved it (4900)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15597) - you deserved it (1903)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

#13561259
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26300) - you deserved it (3504)

On 10/23/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Dude - Singapore

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

#14815475
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19543) - you deserved it (5157)

On 02/02/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by hehe -

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

#14647412
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you deserved it (2578)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26878) - you deserved it (10013)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28337) - you deserved it (3412)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

#18318800
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (1945)

On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

#17503246
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26156) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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