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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss sent me home from work because she saw me not checking under my customer's cart to see if they had any hidden groceries. I didn't check because the customer threatened to "kick my ass" if I "accused him of stealing" by checking. FML

#14408064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (8207)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:51am - work - by bad_luck (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42181) - you deserved it (2484)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there awhile. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for "help". FML

#14254950
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (4361)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

#12999692
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (3444)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:19am - misc - by ~JESSICA~ - United States

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the new Walmart to buy a space heater. After dodging cones in the parking lot, and trying to open several doors while employees looked on, I checked the sign, which said "24 hours." I then realized is stated that the grand opening is tomorrow. I'm now sitting in my apartment shivering. FML

#13608595
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9724) - you deserved it (24941)

On 10/26/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Bellucy27 - United States

Today, my own boyfriend admitted that he can't name one single thing he likes about me without naming something "physical." FML

#13642376
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29004) - you deserved it (6237)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

#9037311
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26447) - you deserved it (3189)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59562) - you deserved it (10307)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

#13775223
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (4197)

On 11/09/2010 at 7:02am - misc - by botheredgf (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

#11927489
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39063) - you deserved it (3222)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:48pm - work - by MSURebel70 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

#13728645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (3462)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm - work - by Username - France

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

#14156953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30403) - you deserved it (5256)

On 12/10/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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