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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

#6680888
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (2035)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML

#7372755
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42115) - you deserved it (2418)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by shockedgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

#6751631
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (4587)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:06pm - love - by Mojo (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

#7014697
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (6383)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML

#7137306
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6272) - you deserved it (39331)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Lil_bit - France

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
78 comments

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

#7492658
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6217) - you deserved it (36792)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:37am - work - by HotelClerk (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15 minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

#7364285
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22978) - you deserved it (5966)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bali_Boil (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss him. He says "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML

#7294242
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (3876)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:46am - kids - by mandiballz - United States (California)

Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

#7336646
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21423) - you deserved it (4793)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by Nosexytime - United States

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

#7423840
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (2500)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (2929)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version



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