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Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (2820)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19713) - you deserved it (4804)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML

#16292
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62589) - you deserved it (4208)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9761) - you deserved it (33180)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

#209503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72240) - you deserved it (4591)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by arrrrggggghhhh (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

#219438
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6421) - you deserved it (61303)

On 03/05/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by anashaalmajiid (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

#3109528
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (19537)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by FathersDay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

#701827
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66453) - you deserved it (4406)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by androgynous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

#720551
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51984) - you deserved it (15534)

On 03/31/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 mins, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said "So do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray everynight that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

#5364824
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35653) - you deserved it (3733)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

#850361
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56003) - you deserved it (12544)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:50am - work - by GT716 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was stage managing a school show. Some kids were goofing off backstage, so I yelled at them that they could hurt themselves. While walking back to my chair, I tripped over my own feet and fell 5 feet off the stage. I shattered my cheekbone telling kids they would hurt themselves. FML

#994417
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47801) - you deserved it (12028)

On 04/15/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by AllThatJazz (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

#1384927
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10097) - you deserved it (49824)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by maddie94 (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



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