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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39272) - you deserved it (2300)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML

#13633879
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (2487)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by nonexistant (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got up and left for work despite being really sick, because I had a big meeting. Halfway to work, in deadlocked traffic, my boss texts me to let me know he's rescheduling the meeting to tomorrow because of personal conflicts. FML

#13336627
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (2494)

On 10/05/2010 at 11:20pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

#14279606
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (3932)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31751) - you deserved it (3287)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML

#13566172
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4614) - you deserved it (40376)

On 10/23/2010 at 7:14pm - misc - by escortedout (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after moving into my new house, I agreed to let my house mates have a house warming on the condition it be a small one, as I have exams all day that day and one that I can't fail on the very next morning. The facebook event guest list now has 100+ confirmed guests. FML

#12418259
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13936) - you deserved it (23377)

On 08/09/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by mitsuko045 (woman) - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

#12977321
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (2175)

On 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm - misc - by gatorhead - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

#13710302
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (5710)

On 11/04/2010 at 1:19am - work - by upsetandunjustified (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25679) - you deserved it (2004)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

#14608704
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25821) - you deserved it (6972) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

#14494219
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (2596)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

#15035119
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24309) - you deserved it (7299)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by inthecold (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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