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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

#13874228
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21779) - you deserved it (2174)

On 11/17/2010 at 5:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 6 months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML

#13530612
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (2052)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:04pm - love - by mook05 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

#14409585
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (3089)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

#15172476
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22036) - you deserved it (7533)

On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -

Today, I sent a friend request on facebook to the only person I became friends with this semester at college. He denied me. FML

#14538668
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/10/2011 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

#15084705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23739) - you deserved it (3170)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by CarSick (woman) - United States

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14649899
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (2137)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

#14528961
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16709) - you deserved it (6048)

On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML

#14794678
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (3294)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:05am - intimacy - by LonelyBoy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

#15281927
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13470) - you deserved it (28247)

On 03/12/2011 at 5:53am - misc - by Nerrh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#19133346
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (16220)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by me (man) - United States

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

#15616826
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (2678)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML

#15674369
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35601) - you deserved it (3560)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:17am - health - by ouchiee (woman) - United States (California)



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