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Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (6556)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

#21412921
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (12517)

On 05/20/2015 at 8:03am - work - by boss_daughter - United States

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

#21392089
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26992) - you deserved it (2501)

On 04/11/2015 at 11:05pm - kids - by ShampooThief - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

#21395867
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28520) - you deserved it (3022)

On 04/18/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Armstrong (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

#21414249
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (2849)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24806) - you deserved it (4145)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

#21419568
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (4695)

On 06/02/2015 at 3:42am - money - by sorrystupid - United States

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

#21431204
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23516) - you deserved it (1518)

On 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm - work - by Ain't going nowhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18345) - you deserved it (1825)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (1878)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (5882)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (2820)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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Friday 26 June 2015

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