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Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40247) - you deserved it (5905)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41257) - you deserved it (4216)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

#21168163
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43234) - you deserved it (15530)

On 06/09/2014 at 12:28pm - work - by deservedly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

#21192815
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39261) - you deserved it (4169)

On 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (5682)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML

#21189057
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35855) - you deserved it (10752)

On 06/26/2014 at 10:58am - misc - by DF (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41404) - you deserved it (4226)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30689) - you deserved it (3435)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

#21223271
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (7728)

On 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm - work - by dorrisdoes - New Zealand

Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

#21212865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43478) - you deserved it (3631)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:45pm - money - by what people do for money - United States (Texas)

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

#238
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you deserved it (62154)

On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML

#5857
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (44669)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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