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Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33407) - you deserved it (1886)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

#20067411
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (1253)

On 09/11/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

#20096710
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (2231)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

#20060179
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (1624)

On 09/06/2012 at 7:15am - work - by Jessica S. (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side. Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it. She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name. FML

#20089281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16642) - you deserved it (8410)

On 09/26/2012 at 7:40am - work - by big mouth (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5941) - you deserved it (26542)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

#20201964
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9036) - you deserved it (34535)

On 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm - misc - by dumbassgrad - United States (California)

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (5360)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31800) - you deserved it (6734)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (2836)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36644) - you deserved it (2599)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (2225)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



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