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Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16096) - you deserved it (3628)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

#7999702
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17524) - you deserved it (5706)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:04am - work - by fired101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML

#7278086
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7443) - you deserved it (25688)

On 01/11/2010 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

#7720142
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26715) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by WishesWasDeaf (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out all the money my dad has been saving in the bank for me since birth has all been spent, by my mother who I haven't seen or talked to in about two years. FML

#8654790
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28109) - you deserved it (1543)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:04am - money - by Julia - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

#14294130
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22380) - you deserved it (2155)

On 12/22/2010 at 2:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML

#12081632
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (6991)

On 07/24/2010 at 5:49am - work - by wils (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML

#16359885
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21824) - you deserved it (18356)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:26pm - work - by kernewek (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

#14222571
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29468) - you deserved it (3989)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

#12860469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (7551)

On 09/01/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by Rollymouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

#14732721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22038) - you deserved it (1963)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by brrrr that's cold! - United States (Colorado)

Today, due to my lagging browser, I accidentally "liked" a status my friend made about the deterioration of her relationship. Then, the computer froze, making it impossible to "unlike" it immediately. My friend won't accept that it was a mistake. FML

#15206605
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23740) - you deserved it (5016)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML

#14189532
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8865) - you deserved it (20847)

On 12/13/2010 at 10:27am - health - by lakb -



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