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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML

#7470937
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25704) - you deserved it (2180)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:33am - work - by Bob (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

#21074335
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33556) - you deserved it (13845) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2014 at 4:26pm - love - by Depirama (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

#7366734
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3251) - you deserved it (29273)

On 01/15/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by mah (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML

#7560337
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3999) - you deserved it (28027)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (2330)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

#10669832
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21944) - you deserved it (3370)

On 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by Samuel (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML

#8396917
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21605) - you deserved it (1383)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by ApparentlyEmo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16902) - you deserved it (7653)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

#8597104
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17090) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:56pm - health - by Stress (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15429) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

#13287186
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (2006)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we were practicing figure drawing in art class. Our regular model didn't show up, so our teacher pulled someone out of study hall. And who did she pick? My ex-boyfriend, who stalked me after our breakup, which resulted in a nervous breakdown that put me in therapy. It was a long class. FML

#14016985
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (2758)

On 11/28/2010 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a message from the girl I like. She told me to never speak to her again and not even look at her any more. Apparently the letter I wrote to her was perverted, vile and nasty. I never wrote her a letter. FML

#14197569
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31677) - you deserved it (2063)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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