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Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML

by uugnfg / 07/27/2010 at 12:38am / United States / Work

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

by niccy / 09/09/2010 at 12:33am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

by kbartlett86 / 06/24/2010 at 4:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

by coffee_princess / 07/22/2010 at 7:14pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML

by lovedontlivehere / 09/23/2010 at 7:49pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2010 at 6:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

by jessii / 10/09/2010 at 4:22am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML

by obsceene / 10/18/2010 at 6:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML

by lookbothways / 10/05/2010 at 8:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML

by shotdown / 11/04/2010 at 12:18am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

by nick92 / 10/15/2010 at 12:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

by catattack78 / 10/21/2010 at 10:48am / United States (Maryland) / Health