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Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57824) - you deserved it (6035)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43784) - you deserved it (8850)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49003) - you deserved it (4982)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

#21018050
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41154) - you deserved it (5511)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by stopstutteringforSiri - United States

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

#21011264
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38698) - you deserved it (3073)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother got a new saxophone. He thought a good way to break it in was to play it in my ear. Loudly. While I was sleeping. FML

#21001557
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36030) - you deserved it (3448)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by blackcarnation - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML

#21025291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49417) - you deserved it (4457)

On 01/12/2014 at 3:03am - kids - by -_- - United States

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

#21034680
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (3890)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:25am - love - by monsterinlaw - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (3937)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

#21049681
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you deserved it (4118)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by lbailey32 - United States (New York)

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

#21051124
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43431) - you deserved it (3675)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:07am - misc - by no snow day (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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