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Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

#7563782
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14302) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML

#8012707
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (1714)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by dmachin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

#18926835
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (1901)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5586) - you deserved it (27155)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper is actually ice. After a bit of struggle I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML

#8580764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17633) - you deserved it (5960)

On 02/23/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Good_old_Grim (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

#13673101
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25463) - you deserved it (5260)

On 11/01/2010 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

#12985084
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8819) - you deserved it (30777)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

#14222571
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29880) - you deserved it (4030)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

#13374528
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (4034)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

#12411056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26519) - you deserved it (2246)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Scabs (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML

#13788203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:16am - misc - by dearprudence89 - United States

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (4407)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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