Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

#7273042
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31217) - you deserved it (3807)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:20am - money - by Pauper (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

#7492658
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6130) - you deserved it (36473)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:37am - work - by HotelClerk (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21242) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a letter in the mail, my mother has applied for a reduction in her child support payments for my brother and I. She's paid $10 child support in 16 years. FML

#7416712
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29347) - you deserved it (1804)

On 01/18/2010 at 9:23am - money - by bluewatersify - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, after spending four days having my resume, cover letter, and references proofread and perfected by professionals, I finally submitted it all to the summer internship of my dreams. I received a rejection letter ten minutes later. FML

#7437449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (2616)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:20pm - work - by PiMan (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (13888)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

#7837909
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20731) - you deserved it (2178)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:27am - misc - by rainey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

#8516526
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27339) - you deserved it (2742)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Mika_Ookami - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year old man covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML

#13742971
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (2685)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

#8507501
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20929) - you deserved it (4373)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by weirdo - United States (California)

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (5417)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

#14139817
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (3696)

On 12/09/2010 at 4:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

#8938160
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29378) - you deserved it (3565)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:04am - love - by fu2then (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: