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Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29384) - you deserved it (2232)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I received my new car-seat covers. I wrote my car off yesterday. FML

#19032748
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (15347)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:29am - money - by thatgirl34 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

#16464062
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (3095)

On 06/02/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

#16355450
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (6333)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by Emoney1 - Canada

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

#17467525
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12118) - you deserved it (22816)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:17am - animals - by romea244 - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

#18839775
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25049) - you deserved it (4604)

On 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm - money - by no money anymore - United States

Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML

#19460687
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26990) - you deserved it (1955)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:12am - love - by Beth (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (2352)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

#17909794
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6439) - you deserved it (30111)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by nooooooooob - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML

#18269786
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13205) - you deserved it (25755)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by tramplily - United States

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (3921)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

#19625329
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17746) - you deserved it (4182)

On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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