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Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13742) - you deserved it (77635)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

#726526
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70518) - you deserved it (4082)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose. FML

#3196366
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42852) - you deserved it (6141)

On 06/25/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML

#3574946
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45844) - you deserved it (10016)

On 07/08/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by feltuponthe69 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I am kind of scared of heights so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke and fell down and I fell along with it. My boyfriend said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML

#3413301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43331) - you deserved it (9042)

On 07/01/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sydsophnova (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

#3230818
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51994) - you deserved it (6447)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Ipickthegoodones (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I am renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

#2303239
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58728) - you deserved it (3686)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

#62239
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43719) - you deserved it (3021)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by morg2000 - Mexico

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69489) - you deserved it (5548)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML

#197849
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (50621)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by brows (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71085) - you deserved it (22968)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

#343744
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20181) - you deserved it (77188)

On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

#517502
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63402) - you deserved it (4052)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)



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