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Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42288) - you deserved it (6818)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38242) - you deserved it (6319)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38204) - you deserved it (20397)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8362) - you deserved it (35654)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

#1634
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (26968)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (9797)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

#5129906
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (6949)

On 09/08/2009 at 4:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20586) - you deserved it (37247)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14511) - you deserved it (64299)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

#247252
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54760) - you deserved it (11669)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML

#264101
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61261) - you deserved it (5984)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

#334226
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56270) - you deserved it (18537)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by marsbar (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML

#432216
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56475) - you deserved it (8283)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:05am - work - by Rev (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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