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Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

#21035049
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39488) - you deserved it (5664)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:55pm - work - by ugh (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (3937)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (7169)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42289) - you deserved it (6041)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47649) - you deserved it (4865)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

#21072669
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36452) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/26/2014 at 10:28pm - work - by Lori_ftw - United States (California)

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

#21087465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (10319)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:02pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant so I could apply for a job, and we decided to eat there. After we finished, I went to start the car. When we got home, I asked him how much the bill came to. Apparently he didn't pay. I had already given them my completed application. FML

#21079338
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43112) - you deserved it (6713)

On 03/06/2014 at 12:52am - money - by TheyHaveMyAddress - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40687) - you deserved it (6120)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48101) - you deserved it (7812)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML

#21113382
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38305) - you deserved it (11750)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:35am - work - by idontknowwhatiamdoing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (5692)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)



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