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Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77517) - you deserved it (4561)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53964) - you deserved it (3101)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

#1339602
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45009) - you deserved it (16225)

On 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm - animals - by poopedon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

#3292838
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45246) - you deserved it (4029)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss hired a feng shui consultant for our small office space. I am the only full-time employee besides the owners, and I work as an unpaid intern. My company would rather pay someone to rearrange my desk than pay me to work at it. FML

#3122883
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40999) - you deserved it (3872)

On 06/22/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by Goldo (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

#3095885
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40057) - you deserved it (5562)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Lucky (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (12541)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43495) - you deserved it (19096)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

#1590402
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39350) - you deserved it (24426)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Sally256 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

#1780717
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10155) - you deserved it (51277)

On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

#3335931
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45489) - you deserved it (4401)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by StillSingle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a customer at one of my tables left his phone number and a smiley face on the credit card slip. I was completely flattered until I looked at the bottom of the slip and realized that he had left me a $0.26 tip. FML

#19721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27851) - you deserved it (2536)

On 02/10/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by appleville (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

#38126
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (3597)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm - intimacy - by Mr. Hopeless (man) - United States (Wyoming)



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