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Today, I finally had sex after a year-long dry spell. It caused an ovarian cyst to rupture and ended up with me in the ER. I'm afraid to ever have sex again. FML

#21515546
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21414) - you deserved it (1847)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49897) - you deserved it (8129)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

#41
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48102) - you deserved it (9843)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Crawling -

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

#548
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7629) - you deserved it (38081)

On 12/18/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Olive - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (3092)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

#1196
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8366) - you deserved it (28095)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43187) - you deserved it (2220)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

#4680199
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (18661)

On 08/20/2009 at 11:55am - intimacy - by littleguy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

#47156
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39415) - you deserved it (5397)

On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13741) - you deserved it (77635)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26360) - you deserved it (2980)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

#726526
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70518) - you deserved it (4082)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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