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Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42937) - you deserved it (3187)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

#20752773
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35241) - you deserved it (5053)

On 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (3511)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45147) - you deserved it (4909)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (4080)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61066) - you deserved it (5987)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

#20821476
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40659) - you deserved it (4097)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by riiiighhhttttt (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (18732)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

#20821917
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44967) - you deserved it (4429)

On 08/05/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (2535)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46796) - you deserved it (4087)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63519) - you deserved it (2848)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45286) - you deserved it (3590)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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