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Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (5821)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9781) - you deserved it (33233)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

#127425
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112614) - you deserved it (5280)

On 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Rich (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

#249952
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49123) - you deserved it (8637)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by McChunky =( - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24687) - you deserved it (67046)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

#454917
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53833) - you deserved it (17537)

On 03/18/2009 at 10:57pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77742) - you deserved it (4574)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

#3109528
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38994) - you deserved it (19748)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by FathersDay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

#3440456
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37770) - you deserved it (7300)

On 07/02/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by Heethersays (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

#3171611
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45808) - you deserved it (5360)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by MoxyR12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (11598)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

#2752400
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52473) - you deserved it (4010)

On 06/09/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I drove six hours with a friend to see one of her favorite bands in concert. We were turned away at the door because the online site didn't say we had to be 21 to enter. I drove six hours back with nothing to show for it but an empty gas tank and useless tickets. FML

#4074889
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39896) - you deserved it (8917)

On 07/27/2009 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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