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Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

#21445738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22826) - you deserved it (2564)

On 07/22/2015 at 11:18pm - health - by skyllabeauty1234 - United States (California)

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29721) - you deserved it (2101)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (5190)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

#21445474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (2036)

On 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm - health - by qhorin halflung (woman) -

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML

#21425174
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (6928)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by silverspud - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML

#21453604
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (2564)

On 08/08/2015 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML

#21439888
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14558) - you deserved it (34863)

On 07/11/2015 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

#21457512
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (2457)

On 08/18/2015 at 6:59am - misc - by Fartnonymous (woman) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML

#21453582
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (2677)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by brbkillingmyself - United States

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (2212)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2099)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, I got called into work on my day off. I ended up being written up for being 15 minutes late to a shift I didn't even have. FML

#21492525
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (1622)

On 11/14/2015 at 4:08pm - work - by hell - United States (California)



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