Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20591) - you deserved it (8961)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

#6297066
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8869) - you deserved it (33473)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I dropped off a box for my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parked in a reserved spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towed. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backed into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

#6378987
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7383) - you deserved it (30181)

On 11/20/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by hopefulanonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

#6574517
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18475) - you deserved it (10303)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML

#6619403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (3549)

On 12/05/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by paula434 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

#6872030
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23696) - you deserved it (3538)

On 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

#6812092
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (3586)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:26pm - love - by lovesucks (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

#7089085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (6042)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Shawna (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

#6992183
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (6516)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:17pm - love - by syco (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I found out my bank account was in the negative because my work gave me a check that didn't clear. I went to my bank to get a statement of charges so my job could reimburse me. They told me requesting a statement costs 8 dollars, which I don't have because my account is in the negative. FML

#7591885
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24572) - you deserved it (2232)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:33pm - money - by tinaburrito - Sent from mobile version

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34176) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML

#7536957
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (2393)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

#7404884
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:30pm - love - by longtrip (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: