Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

#849178
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70040) - you deserved it (6958)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:32am - work - by Windstar (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

#3476155
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30967) - you deserved it (5775)

On 07/04/2009 at 8:10am - health - by michellekel (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML

#5328146
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (2712)

On 09/18/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by London (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

#142749
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14323) - you deserved it (84812)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

#205894
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49278) - you deserved it (19317)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by hoovered (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13405) - you deserved it (68717)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

#1223520
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9869) - you deserved it (65114)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by derranged - China (Tianjin)

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

#1449850
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (9939)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - love - by fmylifebad (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

#4626949
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33590) - you deserved it (10855)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by itzcorinnelove (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#4280491
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35861) - you deserved it (8868)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15pm - love - by badbestfriend (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML

#5661944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35742) - you deserved it (2765)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by omfgmaya - Denmark (Vestsjalland)

Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML

#6078051
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31894) - you deserved it (1787)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by a (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

#5651689
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8238) - you deserved it (21982)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:01pm - love - by danskinnow (man) - United States (Minnesota)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: