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Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML

#15124262
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32179) - you deserved it (5193)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:18am - intimacy - by horriblegf - United States

Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML

#17394740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (2179)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Username - Reserved

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

#17644217
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (7858)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

#19748854
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (3998)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:17am - work - by Swivel - Singapore

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

#17546019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (2009)

On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML

#18606980
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8004) - you deserved it (22264)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (7991)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML

#18965724
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26601) - you deserved it (2027)

On 02/01/2012 at 12:06am - health - by kb - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML

#17931151
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (1943)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML

#19053682
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (1735)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:02am - work - by That_guy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may be my boss. FML

#17384271
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (3379)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:05am - work - by - Moved Across the Country (man) - United States (California)

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

#19637913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (1760)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22664) - you deserved it (2263)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)



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