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Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML

#21453582
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23279) - you deserved it (2676)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by brbkillingmyself - United States

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (2209)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (2097)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, I got called into work on my day off. I ended up being written up for being 15 minutes late to a shift I didn't even have. FML

#21492525
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (1622)

On 11/14/2015 at 4:08pm - work - by hell - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

#21483983
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22691) - you deserved it (7308)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:47pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had the mother of a five year old come in for parent teacher conferences. When I told her that her son was very smart, but he often made up fantastical stories about his home life, she burst into tears. She then ran out of my office crying, "I knew it! I knew he was a sociopath!" FML

#21491960
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (1588)

On 11/13/2015 at 2:06am - work - by nothowscienceworks - United States (California)

Today, it's been so long since I heard from him, I had to look at my boyfriend's Facebook page to see if we're still in a relationship. FML

#21485493
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21850) - you deserved it (4822)

On 10/28/2015 at 3:48pm - love - by feeling single - United States (California)

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

#21487717
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29194) - you deserved it (2352)

On 11/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Quicky5_ (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I finally had sex after a year-long dry spell. It caused an ovarian cyst to rupture and ended up with me in the ER. I'm afraid to ever have sex again. FML

#21515546
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (1665)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49884) - you deserved it (8128)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

#41
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48077) - you deserved it (9842)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Crawling -

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

#548
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7628) - you deserved it (38072)

On 12/18/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Olive - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26669) - you deserved it (3092)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version



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