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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

#20412747
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10800) - you deserved it (44245)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:01am - love - by Stupid Drunk - United States

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5926) - you deserved it (26485)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

#20201964
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8382) - you deserved it (32761)

On 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm - misc - by dumbassgrad - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33263) - you deserved it (19099)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36588) - you deserved it (2598)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25456) - you deserved it (1995)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (8633)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML

#20517120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16951) - you deserved it (52634)

On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38801) - you deserved it (9290)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37062) - you deserved it (2191)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (2262)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (6780) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML

#20547816
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (2218)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm - work - by innocentbarista (man) - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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