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Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML

#19385334
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6400) - you deserved it (29523)

On 03/31/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by whatnow - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

#19115429
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8381) - you deserved it (22433)

On 02/19/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by queenbee12345678 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML

#19200358
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8808) - you deserved it (24783)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

#19306494
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19205) - you deserved it (2201)

On 03/19/2012 at 8:39am - misc - by fuuu. - Hong Kong

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20004) - you deserved it (2503)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

#20045631
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30177) - you deserved it (9755)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:08am - intimacy - by gotta love my momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

#19715623
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (1716)

On 06/01/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

#20088602
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18223) - you deserved it (2234)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:57pm - misc - by pplsuck - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (1639)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18210) - you deserved it (2494)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7885) - you deserved it (21873)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (2244)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, I learned that my 76 year old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML

#20051798
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (1630)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by MsConfusedd - United States (New Jersey)



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