Choose the period

Choose a category


Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2010 at 11:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I used the Print Screen button to take a picture of a really cute bag that I want for my birthday. After emailing it to my mom, I noticed I'd forgotten to close another tab in the browser. The tab had a very suggestive title, for an even more suggestive website. FML

by lala / 01/25/2010 at 12:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

by jmitch1209 / 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

by annonymous / 02/28/2010 at 1:31am / Health

Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML

by lovingsnow / 02/27/2010 at 2:37am / Singapore / Animals

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2010 at 10:14pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

by pizzaface / 03/15/2010 at 7:50am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

by evenpoorer / 03/16/2010 at 1:19am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

by Black Cat 13 / 09/04/2010 at 2:52am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, while eating dinner, a car alarm went off outside for 15 minutes and was driving me crazy, until I realized it was my car. FML

by clu / 08/10/2010 at 2:07am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2010 at 5:34pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

by Drunk / 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, my grandma bought me a cemetery plot for my birthday. If that's not weird enough, it's about a 2 mile walk from where the rest of my family will be buried. FML

by sicufovoshxbsjdk / 08/06/2010 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous