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Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (2226)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

#21341091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28625) - you deserved it (2383)

On 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm - work - by M. Night Shytefuck (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (3397)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30562) - you deserved it (2793)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

#21374172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (7088)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:27am - misc - by thecarisfine (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (1670)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (3061)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

#202
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55645) - you deserved it (8300)

On 11/03/2008 at 11:16pm - love - by clubber - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (55427)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (1667)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

#12002
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46419) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by iamnotfat (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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