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Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

#1881750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45704) - you deserved it (12126)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by getyourownbike (woman) - United States

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

#13539571
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (3755)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41671) - you deserved it (3719)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

#197366
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75225) - you deserved it (3451)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by JTo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54429) - you deserved it (10303)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

#250132
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77016) - you deserved it (4857)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

#331058
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62260) - you deserved it (9977)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by storyofmylife - United States

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

#434812
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46944) - you deserved it (24805)

On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML

#673025
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55514) - you deserved it (9954)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML

#695731
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55358) - you deserved it (5972)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:39am - work - by Blah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

#723787
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56965) - you deserved it (7580)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my daughter's school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said "well I was going to ask you, but they said only to 'ask all of your BEAUTIFUL mommies." FML

#873134
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68258) - you deserved it (3600)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:08pm - kids - by livay315 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was practicing soccer at my school. My team was practicing penalty kicks. It was my turn up and this cute girl that I like was watching off ten feet away from the goal. I was running to take the kick when I slipped and kicked the ball. It hit her head and now she won't talk to me. FML

#1108096
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45765) - you deserved it (10148)

On 04/19/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by hawaiiansokkrboi (man) - United States (Hawaii)



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