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Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (5853)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (2676)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (1658)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (2649)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24436) - you deserved it (5197)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38602) - you deserved it (1891)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML

#92098
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38107) - you deserved it (16156)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

#123831
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48784) - you deserved it (5477)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

#469671
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (54178)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML

#1148346
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40758) - you deserved it (23169)

On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

#3639163
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5286) - you deserved it (55881)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

#2367025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (42976)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:14am - health - by KKimrae_ness (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

#13539571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (3519)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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