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Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML

#21421687
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (2735)

On 06/06/2015 at 9:01am - intimacy - by cockblockedbyFB - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (4410)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30827) - you deserved it (3744)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

#21430948
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (2521)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:02am - love - by bummed out step monster - United States (California)

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

#21412638
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (2382)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

#21391293
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32756) - you deserved it (2403)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (3826)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (9164)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML

#21422070
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (2465)

On 06/07/2015 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML

#21459151
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23828) - you deserved it (1549)

On 08/22/2015 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21431826
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (6255)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by sweetsixteenyay - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

#21397871
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (2369)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:31am - kids - by ireallylikecats - United States



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