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Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (3853)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

#16233240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25062) - you deserved it (19004)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:15am - intimacy - by thoughtitwasspecial (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (3090)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

#17106852
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21587) - you deserved it (1934)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML

#18087058
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23046) - you deserved it (2495)

On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (2394)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

#19447044
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (1770)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML

#16514185
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28643) - you deserved it (2379)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:15pm - misc - by xXEndlesslullabyXx - United States (New York)

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

#18765648
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (3403)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by NJ <3 - United States

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, my mom admitted that she always makes me put away the dishes because my obsessive compulsive tendencies force me to arrange the glasses and silverware by size, just the way she likes them. FML

#17747814
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (4682)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by Awesome. (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so excited to hear my phone get a message that I jumped out of my seat. It was the TV, advertising texting plans. FML

#19374122
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19091) - you deserved it (4667)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:10am - misc - by Anon (woman) - New Zealand



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