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Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16960) - you deserved it (34201)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend was at my house for a 10-day visit. He told me that we'd never spent so much time together, so he didn't know me well and now, he'd finally met the "real me". He doesn't like it. FML

#4017197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37741) - you deserved it (8914)

On 07/24/2009 at 10:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

#4546975
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (6167)

On 08/15/2009 at 11:02am - misc - by playinmyguitar (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

#3863732
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47343) - you deserved it (12520)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

#4941541
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (4695)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Robbins (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

#3859879
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50207) - you deserved it (2643)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

#4646350
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you deserved it (49690)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

#4297624
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (2065)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - money - by familydisaster (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got fired from my job for not "interacting with customers." That's understandable. The thing is, my job didn't actually include any customer interaction. FML

#5539154
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (2775)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:57pm - work - by justfired (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

#6020762
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30386) - you deserved it (4848)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

#6334893
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8776) - you deserved it (24540)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (4031)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

#6517705
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (3030)

On 11/29/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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