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Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19366) - you deserved it (6293)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my 20 year old son decided it would be funny to unbuckle my seat belt while the cops were right beside us. FML

#12212564
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28669) - you deserved it (3721)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by anne (woman) - Canada

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

#13925294
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (2536)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

#13038622
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23984) - you deserved it (5886)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by Drunk - United States (Alabama)

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (3278)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27270) - you deserved it (2264)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

#14548821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7635) - you deserved it (30685)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

#14497966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (12896)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (11949)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32779) - you deserved it (3074)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (33230)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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