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Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (6567)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to cover his share of the rent because he didn't work during the week, saying business has been slow. I checked and found out he called in sick four times. He wanted to stay home and watch online gaming matches. FML

#21312891
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (3396)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by he wasn't even playing - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (3104)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML

#21344749
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (1910)

On 01/26/2015 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

#21325320
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/27/2014 at 2:14pm - love - by is_that_right (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26861) - you deserved it (4038)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (4410)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

#21341091
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (2390)

On 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm - work - by M. Night Shytefuck (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33463) - you deserved it (2656)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML

#21373013
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (2724)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:23am - work - by musicteacher - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

#21352091
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (2845)

On 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by sorry :/ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (3289)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

#21363273
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (2184)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:53am - misc - by need sleep - United States (Maryland)



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