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Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

#18153338
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23859) - you deserved it (1682)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:04am - work - by fired (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24745) - you deserved it (8910)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (10506)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

#17735625
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (3479)

On 09/13/2011 at 10:48am - health - by .. - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

#20020549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16956) - you deserved it (1405)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21592) - you deserved it (7049)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11689) - you deserved it (2186)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized the only reason my phone ever rings is because someone needs help with their computer. FML

#19672620
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14365) - you deserved it (1660)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by that guy - United States

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

#20037883
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16722) - you deserved it (824)

On 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15492) - you deserved it (2312)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (26400)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML

#20401642
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13744) - you deserved it (7813)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

#20088791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by kiwi2323 (woman) - United States



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