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Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

#4707579
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (2571)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by ihatelongflights (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

#5389854
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (3310)

On 09/21/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Wronged (man) - Singapore

Today, I got 4 "photo enforced" speeding tickets in the mail. It was from the car that was stolen from me three weeks ago. FML

#5190838
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39878) - you deserved it (2575)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by SlowLane (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

#4803668
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40280) - you deserved it (2607)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Stripperofthemall - United States (California)

Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML

#5031923
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6110) - you deserved it (38912)

On 09/03/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by nottililgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove by a restaurant I ate at yesterday. I write a food review column for my college paper, and I've tried everything on their menu. They were being closed down today because a large amount of rat droppings was found in their food supplies. FML

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

#6070693
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9921) - you deserved it (35826)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (4276)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34698) - you deserved it (2960)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32887) - you deserved it (4459)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#6335131
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

#6298620
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40756) - you deserved it (2661)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

#6605236
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (7214)

On 12/04/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by olive_costume (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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