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Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21206966
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37937) - you deserved it (5668)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I found out my sister stole my phone, pretended to be me, and tried breaking up with my boyfriend. FML

#21221072
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35557) - you deserved it (3302)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41188) - you deserved it (6748)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8355) - you deserved it (35605)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

#1634
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6639) - you deserved it (26931)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (9788)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

#5129906
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (6948)

On 09/08/2009 at 4:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (37218)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47079) - you deserved it (10132)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

#247252
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54720) - you deserved it (11652)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML

#264101
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61231) - you deserved it (5982)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

#334226
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56015) - you deserved it (18455)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by marsbar (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML

#3570520
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40392) - you deserved it (10570)

On 07/08/2009 at 12:16am - love - by lonelyhubby (man) - United States (Idaho)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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