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Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

#17614245
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (2838)

On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

#16355450
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (6568)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by Emoney1 - Canada

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML

#17175800
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (7125)

On 07/19/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Miriden - United States

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#18963505
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7776) - you deserved it (44615)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23308) - you deserved it (5902)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, I had a relaxing night watching movies with my room-mates. Everyone but I had a girl over to lie with during the movie. The closest I got all night was the multiple times my room-mate's dog tried to mount me. FML

#18118791
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30010) - you deserved it (3695)

On 10/31/2011 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Hollywoodanonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had a bunch of friends over for a party. My mom came stumbling into my room, crying about how she was officially menopausal, and that I was going to "die an only child." FML

#17687810
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (2130)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML

#18037491
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27361) - you deserved it (2321)

On 10/21/2011 at 8:10am - work - by Customer Stonage Representative - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

#19369431
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (1818)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by a - United States

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (3629)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8934) - you deserved it (22212)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML

#18117452
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

#19667338
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26603) - you deserved it (2328)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States



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