Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

#20016514
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (1924)

On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

#19899247
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23318) - you deserved it (2923)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

#20078083
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (1763)

On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

#20034633
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33269) - you deserved it (5281)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by m (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML

#19969861
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19412) - you deserved it (1348)

On 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm - work - by fuckdubstep51 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (3855)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (2304)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (8632)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

#20438571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (2388)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13382) - you deserved it (38872)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29205) - you deserved it (3009)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (3334)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: