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Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15488) - you deserved it (25090)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

#15023779
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24318) - you deserved it (4183)

On 02/18/2011 at 12:19am - animals - by Username -

Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML

#16842915
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (4556)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:30am - love - by yourmomsabitch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

#15589455
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (3369)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

#19112192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22685) - you deserved it (2654)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:49am - kids - by CamoElla - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

#16972351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (13860)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by hero to zero - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sell my wedding ring to help me pay for my divorce. FML

#16106776
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40295) - you deserved it (11825)

On 05/09/2011 at 5:12pm - money - by loser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

Today, after weeks of watching car after car of solo drivers go by in the carpool lane every day, I decided to join them. I'm the one who got pulled over. FML

#17756140
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8955) - you deserved it (29964)

On 09/16/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23148) - you deserved it (3527)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11817) - you deserved it (24641)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML

#15830049
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36602) - you deserved it (2898)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

#17271800
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32726) - you deserved it (12314)

On 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by anon - Israel



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