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Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

#17467525
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12109) - you deserved it (22789)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:17am - animals - by romea244 - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (3433)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

#18839775
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (4491)

On 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm - money - by no money anymore - United States

Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML

#19460687
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (1953)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:12am - love - by Beth (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21576) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

#17909794
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6431) - you deserved it (30070)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by nooooooooob - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML

#18269786
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13190) - you deserved it (25721)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by tramplily - United States

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (3917)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

#19625329
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17721) - you deserved it (4175)

On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21787) - you deserved it (1943)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (1698)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)

Today, while taking the trash out, the old cranky elevator in my apartment complex finally gave up on life. For a long hour I was stuck between floors 4 and 5, practically embracing my bio-waste can. FML

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (2953)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States



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