Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36309) - you deserved it (2510)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

#21226986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (15525)

On 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML

#21233543
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33120) - you deserved it (19482)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by ThatsNotGrass (man) - Canada

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

#117
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63394) - you deserved it (8672)

On 10/28/2008 at 7:13am - intimacy - by loon - Sent from mobile version

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7657) - you deserved it (28714)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

#532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25076) - you deserved it (7928)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (3313)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37193) - you deserved it (4035)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93146) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying 'Come over and do me.' He never responded. FML

#21094
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42662) - you deserved it (10609)

On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by noneofthesex (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47134) - you deserved it (10138)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

#242158
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58776) - you deserved it (4403)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML

#3570520
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (10583)

On 07/08/2009 at 12:16am - love - by lonelyhubby (man) - United States (Idaho)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: