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Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". mega FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36303) - you deserved it (7595)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today.. . at college.. . I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attachd . Hoping to find contact details.. . I googld the name on the back of the card.. . just in time fir him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile lyk some kind of stalker . FML

#17760345
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (11491)

On 09/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, ( No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, u crazy bitch. ) He lives alone. real FML

#18178318
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (2111)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to interview wit looool potential new roommates at a cooperative living ouse. I decided to bake cookies fir everyone, and wile touring te ouse, I forgot about te cookies and set off a small oven fire. All tis after professing ow responsible I am. FML

#17716770
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18809) - you deserved it (12167)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by dangit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me bieng admitted with a possible head trauma , after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

#18959231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21597) - you deserved it (3792)

On 01/31/2012 at 6:07am - health - by Arielle (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door fir not locking it. He made up the ( no locking the doors inside the house ) rule. FML

#18497934
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21855) - you deserved it (2699)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I Took The Bus. The Old Lady Next To Me Almost Fell When The Driver Stoppd, But I Managd To Catch Her. Five Minutes Later, The Same Thing Happend To Me. The Old Lady Trid To Help Me, But I Lost Balance An Pulld Her Skrt Down. Fat FML

#19667338
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25145) - you deserved it (2187)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States

Today, I told mah mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making mah favorite cookies and dinner. big fat FML

#19743960
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21279) - you deserved it (2179)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today,hile trying to kill a spider in mah kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at looool it. The bottle hit the wall, bouncd off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawld away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8370) - you deserved it (27248)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery!! I replid, ( Oh, I know someone who just had that done!! ) I then realizd I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC!! mega FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (24535)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, I Got Sent To The Principal's Office Because My Dad Decidd That Instead Of Signing His Name, He Would Sign, "Ms. Bigtits", Because He Wantd To Make Sure The Teachers Were Paying Attention To What There Students Handd In. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (1489)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

today I finally told mah roommate ho doesn't pay rent to go get a job. He left came back and immediately went to mah refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and wat his pay is. Apparently putting together a bike 4 a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17251) - you deserved it (2350)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today , I Was Cutting The Grass , It Was Really Hot And I Fainted . I Woke Up To See Mah Mom Standing Over Me . I Thought She Was Going To Freak Out And Call An Ambulance . Instead She Said , "Good , Your Up . Now You Can Finish." FML

#19705989
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (2196)

On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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