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Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

#14632650
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20787) - you deserved it (2745)

On 01/18/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by desertpunk75 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32557) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, I went to lunch with my sister. As the waitress was bringing our food, she dropped it on the floor. She apologized and brought us new food. After we finished eating and I looked at the bill, I noticed she'd charged us twice. FML

#17757615
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31046) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/16/2011 at 12:26pm - money - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35183) - you deserved it (3022)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

#19375581
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15637) - you deserved it (4172)

On 03/30/2012 at 10:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34535) - you deserved it (7577)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

#17284232
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (4555)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:51am - work - by Rick - United States (Indiana)

Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML

#9350215
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (4247)

On 03/24/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by Clauric (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (2602)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML

#15999474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31850) - you deserved it (4705)

On 05/01/2011 at 1:36am - love - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

#17681752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (1712)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:33pm - misc - by aroman2312 - United States

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

#15898424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22897) - you deserved it (2467)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by wet (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23647) - you deserved it (1357)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)



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