Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, seeing Ozzy Osbourne live for the first time, I was trying to get the perfect photo of the entire band on stage. That is, until a sudden burst of pyrotechnics startled me, and I gave myself a black eye from the camera hitting me in the face. FML

#13982086
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (8566)

On 11/26/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29209) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00am. FML

#14389262
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (2571)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

#14505215
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28448) - you deserved it (3866)

On 01/08/2011 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is hot, you probably shouldn't tell your parents. They could react by screaming at him across the room to tell him you think he's a hottie. FML

#15203097
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (15058)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:34am - misc - by anonymous - France

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

#14985221
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9882) - you deserved it (32029)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:25am - misc - by a fatty -

Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML

#20043557
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27455) - you deserved it (1517)

On 08/26/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by damnit. (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

#14923153
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (11609)

On 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

#17958563
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (3408)

On 10/11/2011 at 7:52am - work - by anon - United States

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

#15272926
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (2702)

On 03/11/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by ieatoreos -

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

#19530940
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (3844)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by somefamily (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML

#15526729
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27206) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/28/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by calling_while_driving - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: