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Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

#21165275
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49980) - you deserved it (4072)

On 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm - health - by wo-ow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38623) - you deserved it (4936)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32870) - you deserved it (8024)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31713) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I found out my sister stole my phone, pretended to be me, and tried breaking up with my boyfriend. FML

#21221072
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47020) - you deserved it (4494)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (5383)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37221) - you deserved it (2915)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML

Today, my husband told his parents that he was quitting his job so that he could focus on school. They asked him what he was going to do for money. When I told them that I'd be the one working, they took one look at me and burst into laughter. FML

#21230924
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41551) - you deserved it (3997)

On 08/06/2014 at 12:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (5369)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

#21275948
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30988) - you deserved it (2630)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:04am - work - by thecaptainmorgan - United States (Oklahoma)



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