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Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

#19530940
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (3844)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by somefamily (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML

#15526729
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/28/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by calling_while_driving - United States (California)

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26612) - you deserved it (3111)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

#19592983
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27554) - you deserved it (5421)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn't shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, "It's a lot of money people throw away, isn't it?" Apparently, I look homeless. FML

#19534101
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10660) - you deserved it (19877)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:04pm - misc - by AndyAnonymous (man) - United States

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

#19608060
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19717) - you deserved it (2639)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20944) - you deserved it (3611)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML

#17175800
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (6740)

On 07/19/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Miriden - United States

Today, my boss announced that instead of holiday bonuses being on the cards, the company is going under and we'll all be out of a job next year. FML

#18412841
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (1957)

On 12/02/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

#16762129
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26287) - you deserved it (2839)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:12pm - health - by Tequila (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36295) - you deserved it (7594)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, at college, I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attached. Hoping to find contact details, I googled the name on the back of the card, just in time for him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile like some kind of stalker. FML

#17760345
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19297) - you deserved it (11489)

On 09/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (2111)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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