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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML

#18922050
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (2556)

On 01/27/2012 at 12:35am - work - by Wendizzle (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

#19045980
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (7260)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:03am - money - by jam - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14824) - you deserved it (53347)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

#19405276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (1911)

On 04/04/2012 at 3:51am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML

#19738817
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (8537)

On 06/05/2012 at 2:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

#19567483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (5576)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

#19810055
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21233) - you deserved it (1961)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm - misc - by ducklover1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

#20063395
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19823) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm - health - by balletteacher - United States

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

#19948855
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7366) - you deserved it (23033)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

#19898795
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10241) - you deserved it (29996)

On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (1843)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (8692)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

#19986265
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (2031)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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