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Today, I was taking an order for a patron at the casino. The policy is to "pay first." After explaining this to him, he still refused to pay. After years of being polite, I finally cracked and said, "You are making this really f-ing difficult". This particular patron was our CEO's son. FML

#21228632
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (12155)

On 08/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by really though? - United States (Delaware)

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (3375)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35353) - you deserved it (2932)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30084) - you deserved it (3316)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, I learnt that the girl with who I've being going out for 6 months, has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

#379
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (3238)

On 11/24/2008 at 1:08am - love - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML

#3824312
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41159) - you deserved it (2453)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by msj137 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

#12002
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46325) - you deserved it (3895)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by iamnotfat (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46152) - you deserved it (13925)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13164) - you deserved it (29468)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77457) - you deserved it (4561)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53946) - you deserved it (3099)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

#1339602
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (16219)

On 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm - animals - by poopedon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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