Choose the period

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, after hearing the results of my spinal tap, following several scans, my doctor said discovering that I have Multiple Sclerosis was a "happy accident". FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2015 at 12:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML

by sabotaged / 11/01/2015 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got detention at school because a girl told the principal I was stalking her on campus. I wasn't stalking her, we just have very similar schedules. FML

by Anon / 12/04/2015 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 9:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I bought a PS4 online for my boyfriend's birthday. I put it on our joint credit card through Paypal to keep it a surprise. The company decided to ruin that surprise when they called him to confirm the transaction. FML

Today, the man I have been in a long-distance relationship with for 2 years told me he has been cheating on me for 6 months, and that he's leaving me for her. I'm due to fly out to see him next week on a non-refundable ticket. He insists that, "we can still hang out, just not have sex". FML

by Sadginger / 12/21/2015 at 6:45pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML

by Dexter_39476 / 01/24/2016 at 12:40am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad let me borrow his phone while I wait for mine to get back from the shop. I guess he forgot to pass the news along, because within 4 hours I'd received a picture of my mom's tits. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 12:51am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML

by J / 02/11/2016 at 10:44am / Malta / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

by OhDearGodGrandad / 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I like asked me to take over her shift at the place we both work at. Being nice, I readily took over. Later, I found out she went on a date with my best friend. He knows I like her. FML

by fezhafeez / 02/23/2016 at 2:26pm / Singapore / Love

Today, I was given a $100 cookbook as a gift by a co-worker. The man who shares a desk with me didn't realise it was mine, as he was at lunch when I got it, so he decided to give it to my boss when he walked in. My boss is refusing to return it. FML

by Kaylz / 03/06/2016 at 11:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work