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Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35271) - you deserved it (4439)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21232) - you deserved it (33023)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

#21159568
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39074) - you deserved it (3704)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by not paid enough (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

#21194486
72 comments

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43176) - you deserved it (2981)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39964) - you deserved it (3041)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (3497)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42576) - you deserved it (3179)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, a new fire alarm system is being installed in my building. Not only does the alarm go off incessantly, but the elevators stop running when it happens. I live on the 12th floor. FML

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

#41
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43089) - you deserved it (9011)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Crawling -



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