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Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

#20821476
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (4093)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by riiiighhhttttt (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43094) - you deserved it (18723)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

#20821917
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44937) - you deserved it (4426)

On 08/05/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

#20816755
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39998) - you deserved it (3858)

On 08/02/2013 at 8:41am - love - by chickety boom - United States (Texas)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40567) - you deserved it (2531)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46764) - you deserved it (4087)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63453) - you deserved it (2846)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45238) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

#20909145
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48983) - you deserved it (5341)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:20am - intimacy - by inhaler -.- - United States (Alabama)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (39622)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46967) - you deserved it (4698)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (6614)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38301) - you deserved it (2948)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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