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Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (2675)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I interviewed for a call center job making $13/hr, the only job where they called back. I used to live in a doorman luxury apartment in Manhattan with a prime skyline view and clubhouse. That was last month. FML

#3730
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (8167)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:19am - money - by Banker - United States (Virginia)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (6934)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59697) - you deserved it (5001)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51001) - you deserved it (10349)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15247) - you deserved it (59906)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

#178001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66324) - you deserved it (4098)

On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

#720551
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52021) - you deserved it (15538)

On 03/31/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML

#3553379
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43941) - you deserved it (3580)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:00pm - money - by BrianP (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

#1090748
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47108) - you deserved it (9712)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me I was a bad daughter because I didn't get anything for my parents' anniversary. I just sent my brother a check for $400 for my share of their gift. FML

#3560349
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40797) - you deserved it (2770)

On 07/07/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by andrie09 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML

#3307741
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7326) - you deserved it (69531)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML

#1720755
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49888) - you deserved it (7345)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by sleepyt127 - United States (New York)



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