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Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39954) - you deserved it (3040)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (4959)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

#41
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43086) - you deserved it (9010)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Crawling -

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7668) - you deserved it (28738)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (2666)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (1657)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML

#16292
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62214) - you deserved it (4175)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

#5836
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (13015)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

#151604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42916) - you deserved it (13438)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58073) - you deserved it (10077)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

#469671
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (54115)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

#3163713
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (10966)

On 06/24/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Nutty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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