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Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

#6377568
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29843) - you deserved it (2963)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:30am - love - by ApparentlyIFail (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8690) - you deserved it (59203)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

#6177742
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35016) - you deserved it (7171)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (14480)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7680) - you deserved it (39041)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

#6191720
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11198) - you deserved it (30188)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was yelled at by a middle school teacher in front of 30 6th graders for breaking the rule of "no cell phones in school." Luckily, I escaped being sent to the office after explaining I'm a 21 year old college student doing student teaching observations, not a middle schooler. FML

#6379365
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31939) - you deserved it (4717)

On 11/20/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by NotInMiddleSchool (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the woman I love told me she cared about me and didn't like me hurting myself. She then posted a picture of herself making-out with her new boyfriend. FML

#6433599
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (4841)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by xX-SaD-FaCe-Xx (man) - Singapore

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

#6499900
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30208) - you deserved it (6257)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

#6674325
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11408) - you deserved it (25723)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML

#6682554
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34090) - you deserved it (2499)

On 12/09/2009 at 5:19pm - love - by Superficial (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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