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Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40280) - you deserved it (5129)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (4970)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (5395)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39263) - you deserved it (3267)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (3465)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44591) - you deserved it (4153)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

#21229931
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37677) - you deserved it (3603)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (2869)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39298) - you deserved it (5152)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (3433)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32386) - you deserved it (6955)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)



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