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Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16974) - you deserved it (34625)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

#20903388
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36797) - you deserved it (3477)

On 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm - kids - by HGTV (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32179) - you deserved it (4065)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML

#20947649
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34256) - you deserved it (2849)

On 11/06/2013 at 11:33am - kids - by TheMommas (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35554) - you deserved it (2476)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44058) - you deserved it (2952)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41502) - you deserved it (5806)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35001) - you deserved it (2822)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

#21031848
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40333) - you deserved it (2909)

On 01/18/2014 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of telling my mother about my engagement, she suddenly broke down in tears about her problems at work and her loveless marriage, and abruptly hung up on me. FML

Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML

#21064549
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32225) - you deserved it (3598)

On 02/18/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by undineA (man) - Greece (Thessaloniki)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19750) - you deserved it (35454)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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