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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20728) - you deserved it (25877)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

#18464914
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (2244)

On 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31923) - you deserved it (6525)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23202) - you deserved it (3843)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

#17734053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28621) - you deserved it (2185)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

#16395654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35024) - you deserved it (5618)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by CAchickadee - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9185) - you deserved it (95319) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML

#19417580
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6154) - you deserved it (22937)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27702) - you deserved it (3329)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

#17085145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36460) - you deserved it (3553)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (2784)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States

Today, I had to take two buses home from a friend's house. After waiting in the cold for the second bus for 40 minutes, it finally came and I realized that I'd left my wallet on the first bus. It took me 2 hours to walk home and I was locked out because my house key is attached to my wallet. FML

#18541076
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30446) - you deserved it (7044)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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