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Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38379) - you deserved it (3295)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40358) - you deserved it (6981)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

#20700580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42969) - you deserved it (4316)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by fucker43 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63839) - you deserved it (4294)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48104) - you deserved it (4895)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45605) - you deserved it (6849)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

#20748461
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41792) - you deserved it (3743)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML

#20722747
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (8617)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:04am - work - by vanity113 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (4719)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (38141)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23522) - you deserved it (45658)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46305) - you deserved it (3867)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46830) - you deserved it (4394)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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