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Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML

#5875643
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (5326)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by Anonwymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I spent the night with my guy, whom I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

#6078276
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (4666)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by dtmfa (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

#6213926
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (3749)

On 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11156) - you deserved it (37326)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

#6378315
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10286) - you deserved it (38609)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:56am - work - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33982) - you deserved it (2437)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finished installing a brand new engine in my old car. It cost just over $6000. Later, I was waiting at a red light and an uninsured drunk driver smashed into it head on. It's completely totaled. I got to drive it 5 miles. The car is worth $1000, even with a new engine. FML

#6318319
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32339) - you deserved it (4189)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:59pm - money - by stupidoldcar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the woman I love told me she cared about me and didn't like me hurting myself. She then posted a picture of herself making-out with her new boyfriend. FML

#6433599
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (5448)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by xX-SaD-FaCe-Xx (man) - Singapore

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

#6499900
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32848) - you deserved it (6553)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML

#6641672
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10007) - you deserved it (33928)

On 12/06/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

#6482336
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you deserved it (9738)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my first day off in 3 weeks just so I can sleep in. The office secretary woke me up at 7.12 am with a page wishing me a nice day off. FML

#6823511
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28593) - you deserved it (3796)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:39am - work - by Hareega (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (4357)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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