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Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31984) - you deserved it (4003)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

#21226986
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (15547)

On 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

#21229228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37534) - you deserved it (3806)

On 08/04/2014 at 11:08am - misc - by baebookboo - United States (Kansas)

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you deserved it (4111)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (2563)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45429) - you deserved it (7583)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, I've learnt that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

#51
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52447) - you deserved it (13692)

On 10/26/2008 at 8:07am - love - by etsl - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (5845)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (2536)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (1657)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (2644)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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