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Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37378) - you deserved it (13024)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (2997)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44458) - you deserved it (4145)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (392) - you deserved it (2708)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (4135)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (2579)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML

#21284646
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38052) - you deserved it (2606)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32289) - you deserved it (4461)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

#21299071
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32694) - you deserved it (2207)

On 11/14/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (3214)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)



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