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Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

#18972583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22145) - you deserved it (2865)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML

#20038307
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (1372)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML

#18961286
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (2668)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:17pm - health - by louie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML

#19020583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24307) - you deserved it (2012)

On 02/07/2012 at 7:14pm - money - by oceangirl - United States

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML

#19142645
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (10065)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - health - by SmallTownCutie -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML

#18830961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29066) - you deserved it (5768)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

#19699093
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (1624)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17163) - you deserved it (2568)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21779) - you deserved it (3534)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

#20077487
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20914) - you deserved it (1936)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

#20089382
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7793) - you deserved it (30052)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

#20078083
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28219) - you deserved it (1698)

On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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