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Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

#3804490
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13348) - you deserved it (60297)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML

#5060700
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (9418)

On 09/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by uglychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

#5359755
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41436) - you deserved it (2948)

On 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by elmalo68 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

#3853046
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15380) - you deserved it (58043)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:26am - misc - by insertfoothere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML

#6050318
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (6769)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Quirk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML

#4807185
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43176) - you deserved it (12283)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:54am - love - by kalazoo21 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent in a fake story to a website that supports a yearly festival in my small town thinking it would boost their spirits. It was how my boyfriend proposed to me at last year's festival. Now the local news station wants to do a story about it. FML

#4072297
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8268) - you deserved it (78340)

On 07/27/2009 at 2:24am - misc - by Tasji (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. My speedometer got busted a few weeks back, rendering it useless. My father, a former mechanic, decided it's not worth the trouble of going in and fixing it. "Just keep with traffic when you're on the highway; you'll be fine." This $150 fee says otherwise. FML

#5987696
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13118) - you deserved it (27256)

On 10/25/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by ZThirteen (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36915) - you deserved it (4075)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a UTI. After, taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

#5896286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (4320)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

#6116974
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (4850)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my family sat me down and told me I was spending way too much time with my boyfriend and not enough time with them. My boyfriend has been away in Iraq for six months and just came home a week ago. FML

#6406317
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44508) - you deserved it (2450)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:03pm - love - by gj09 - United States

Today, I failed an oral speech because "I didn't look up once." The problem was, every time I looked up, my teacher looked down. Every time I looked down, she looked up. FML

#6007391
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (6238)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by oralMistake - United States (Maryland)



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