Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and I when we got married. FML

#2775360
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16038) - you deserved it (38875)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

#3292838
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45132) - you deserved it (4020)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

#3607672
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (53980)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by StUbbY (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into work to change a shift I was unable to work. I phone the first person on the employee sheet and they promptly answer by saying "You still work here? I thought the manager fired you..." I was fired last week and have been showing up for shifts without anybody noticing. FML

#3572353
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42466) - you deserved it (5567)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:21am - work - by mannnnn (man) -

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43384) - you deserved it (19041)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21269) - you deserved it (37457)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

#3230818
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47631) - you deserved it (6052)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Ipickthegoodones (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

#1780717
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10114) - you deserved it (51198)

On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

#1847078
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42294) - you deserved it (2626)

On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41330) - you deserved it (3690)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, a customer at one of my tables left his phone number and a smiley face on the credit card slip. I was completely flattered until I looked at the bottom of the slip and realized that he had left me a $0.26 tip. FML

#19721
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (2522)

On 02/10/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by appleville (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

#44996
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55463) - you deserved it (10373)

On 02/15/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Noname - United States

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

#69146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39202) - you deserved it (5337)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35pm - love - by noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: