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Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (7176)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (3019)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51394) - you deserved it (4589)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38812) - you deserved it (13519)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML

#20637157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46270) - you deserved it (7171)

On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you deserved it (3295)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40357) - you deserved it (6981)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

#20700580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42970) - you deserved it (4316)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by fucker43 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63836) - you deserved it (4293)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20699633
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48007) - you deserved it (4027)

On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48099) - you deserved it (4895)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

#20731128
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41021) - you deserved it (5156)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)



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