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Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47866) - you deserved it (2179)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by jeezy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47059) - you deserved it (1754)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:05pm - work - by lolgarbl (man) - United States (California)
Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (9799)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)
Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8580) - you deserved it (58542)
On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40337) - you deserved it (2421)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year old boy asked me "What do you do when you really want something?". I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42552) - you deserved it (4482)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:51pm - kids - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tip toed out of the room did I realize that my cell phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you deserved it (6452)
On 05/04/2009 at 11:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I finally had time to talk with my boyfriend. We had a nice long conversation, which included him telling me how much I meant to him and that we really need to see each other more often. He concluded the speech twenty minutes later with "Which is why I really hope we can stay friends". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (2004)
On 10/11/2009 at 10:53am - love - by Oh_Well (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (1870)
On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36651) - you deserved it (7758)
On 10/12/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by worst (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)
Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28438) - you deserved it (3677)
On 09/25/2009 at 9:09am - health - by boomstick (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2570) - you deserved it (9718)
On 10/04/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by masterfail (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7411) - you deserved it (25434)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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