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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33668) - you deserved it (2946)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

#13673101
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25405) - you deserved it (5258)

On 11/01/2010 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

#12985084
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8802) - you deserved it (30724)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

#13374528
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (4032)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML

#13788203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19438) - you deserved it (2612)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:16am - misc - by dearprudence89 - United States

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (4404)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband told me the reason he'd been meeting his high school sweetheart behind my back and lying about where he was was out of respect for me. He thinks I'm ungrateful for not appreciating the lengths he's gone to to hide this. FML

#13380093
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (2703)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7333) - you deserved it (28439)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

#12296096
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6094) - you deserved it (48537)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm - misc - by bitch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after staying in bed all day for a week from sickness, I get up to tell my mom I have terrible back pain and feel extremely dizzy. After curling up on the chair next to her, not being able to keep my head up for too long, she simply stares at me and says, "Can I finish my dinner now?" FML

#13720258
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20844) - you deserved it (4737)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML

#13691597
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8418) - you deserved it (13601)

On 11/02/2010 at 7:34pm - misc - by djangle (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

#10815057
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11169) - you deserved it (27942)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:20am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

#13466468
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39642) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Shooter71 - Sent from mobile version



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