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Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (2408)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30843) - you deserved it (5700)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my professor for his opinion on the subject I plan to study in my thesis. Turns out, he likes it so much that he's going to steal it from me. FML

#21372437
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33314) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/11/2015 at 10:01am - work - by nothesisforme - France

Today, I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and won’t talk to me anymore. FML

#298
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29724) - you deserved it (16627)

On 11/13/2008 at 6:39am - kids - by pinpin - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22798) - you deserved it (5874)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

#539
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16878) - you deserved it (27976)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

#1345
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9717) - you deserved it (33204)

On 01/16/2009 at 8:36am - intimacy - by fd - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19496) - you deserved it (9083)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17447) - you deserved it (4428)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML

#16292
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62458) - you deserved it (4193)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

#3200106
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (7576)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by GoldenShower (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

#257838
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57894) - you deserved it (3767)

On 03/10/2009 at 12:20am - love - by nononame (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

#3435497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35574) - you deserved it (6212)

On 07/02/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Damnsoup (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)



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