Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was training a new guy at work, my husband spent half the day creeping outside in his truck. FML

#17868574
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23510) - you deserved it (3146)

On 09/30/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Cristie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (2645)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (1803)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (4194)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

#19673015
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (3584)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

#19484961
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22131) - you deserved it (1681)

On 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started a new job. I noticed all the beautiful women. Then I tripped on a cord running across the floor. They noticed me too. FML

#19605681
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16906) - you deserved it (5132)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - work - by Brown345 (man) - United States

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

#19676513
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22751) - you deserved it (2744)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

#19561012
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6372) - you deserved it (28994)

On 05/01/2012 at 10:27pm - misc - by BoomHeadshot (woman) - Australia

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (3019)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

#19810055
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19961) - you deserved it (1856)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm - misc - by ducklover1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

#20047310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8167) - you deserved it (28796)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:59am - health - by Holly - United States (Colorado)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21626) - you deserved it (4035)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: