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Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48368) - you deserved it (21213)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

#1072377
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79370) - you deserved it (4034)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her "that guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, thats my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said "EW." FML

#1242377
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55599) - you deserved it (7492)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:58pm - love - by uglyswimmer (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

#4069645
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55899) - you deserved it (3752)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by scarred (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

#5383572
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9041) - you deserved it (61799)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

#4450231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42952) - you deserved it (5782)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by elmangy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

#5735299
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8525) - you deserved it (47993)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

#3838963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45942) - you deserved it (4240)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML

#4397401
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (7778)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

#6041227
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38077) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:19pm - work - by uglyyyyy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

#4752266
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46277) - you deserved it (4313)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Idontdance (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

#3804490
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13347) - you deserved it (60297)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML

#5060700
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (9418)

On 09/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by uglychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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