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Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML

#20970198
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37470) - you deserved it (3640)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by cb - United States (Indiana)

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

#20994255
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

#20988723
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38246) - you deserved it (2443)

On 12/11/2013 at 6:58am - misc - by a.white - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

#20993552
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36995) - you deserved it (6467)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48266) - you deserved it (4470)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

#21001750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38337) - you deserved it (4800)

On 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm - love - by Lucie - United States (New York)

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

#21014568
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37260) - you deserved it (7747)

On 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm - misc - by Andrew (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43771) - you deserved it (4600)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39433) - you deserved it (5211)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43985) - you deserved it (5645)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came in to work early at a restaurant to help out. I stocked, baked pies for the next day, cleaned and set over 50 tables, and vacuumed the entire two stories. When I went to send an order for the first customer of mine, I realized I hadn't even clocked on. Four ½ hours of work wasted. FML

#21083869
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37850) - you deserved it (9474)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:01am - work - by IStillHaveMy8hrShiftToGo (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38759) - you deserved it (3112)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



FML's blog

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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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