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Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML

#13788203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19431) - you deserved it (2612)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:16am - misc - by dearprudence89 - United States

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (4401)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband told me the reason he'd been meeting his high school sweetheart behind my back and lying about where he was was out of respect for me. He thinks I'm ungrateful for not appreciating the lengths he's gone to to hide this. FML

#13380093
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (2703)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7333) - you deserved it (28437)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

#12296096
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6093) - you deserved it (48532)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm - misc - by bitch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after staying in bed all day for a week from sickness, I get up to tell my mom I have terrible back pain and feel extremely dizzy. After curling up on the chair next to her, not being able to keep my head up for too long, she simply stares at me and says, "Can I finish my dinner now?" FML

#13720258
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20841) - you deserved it (4737)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML

#13691597
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8416) - you deserved it (13599)

On 11/02/2010 at 7:34pm - misc - by djangle (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

#10815057
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11169) - you deserved it (27939)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:20am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

#13466468
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Shooter71 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

#8997978
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21251) - you deserved it (1706)

On 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

#13898275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (3317)

On 11/19/2010 at 10:00am - love - by needfulthing - United States

Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML

#13909761
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40535) - you deserved it (3989)

On 11/20/2010 at 9:00am - animals - by serveandprotectyeahright - United States (New York)

Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML

#14104065
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (2131)

On 12/06/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by kenz - United States



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