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Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

#7008039
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8497) - you deserved it (16747)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18122) - you deserved it (3730)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

#7493259
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16880) - you deserved it (5623)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by noooooo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (4736)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9733) - you deserved it (15076)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

#7502542
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (2024)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML

#7278086
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7395) - you deserved it (25562)

On 01/11/2010 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML

#10132808
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7826) - you deserved it (36319)

On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML

#14207405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6511) - you deserved it (19466)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by dumbass (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML

#13927499
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my custom printed Christmas cards that I reviewed twice before ordering, came in the mail. This year I will be wishing everyone a "wondeful" holiday season. I'm an elementary school teacher. FML

#14126790
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7555) - you deserved it (14964)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

#13081753
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (3157)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:43am - love - by anime_love - United States

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20131) - you deserved it (2863)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -



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