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Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45928) - you deserved it (3355)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML

#21129594
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43581) - you deserved it (5069)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by wtf - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

#21162663
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43737) - you deserved it (3676)

On 06/04/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

#21127541
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37853) - you deserved it (3294)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:13pm - kids - by pleasestop (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

#21130965
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44837) - you deserved it (3818)

On 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

#21161395
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46581) - you deserved it (17041)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

#21192529
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (4129)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm - work - by ~~~ (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43301) - you deserved it (18123)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46288) - you deserved it (3252)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39756) - you deserved it (9512)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

#21232602
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (7969)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (4415)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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