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Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 1:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15 minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

by Bali_Boil / 01/15/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

by Boned...hard / 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm / Intimacy

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

by imalwaystired / 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm / Health

Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML

by crappygirlfriend / 01/10/2010 at 2:59am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2010 at 3:09am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

by sweeeeet / 02/08/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

by Username / 02/22/2010 at 12:44am / United States / Health

Today, I was building new fixtures at work. As I assembled the top holding bar on the second section, my boss came up and smacked it to try and scare me. She knocked the top holding bar, which is made of steel, onto my head, and then all the sections went on to fall like dominoes. FML

by theoneguyinky / 03/01/2010 at 9:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

by kbeavv / 02/11/2010 at 12:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

by Kristopher / 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

by lonely / 08/01/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML

by anonymous / 06/30/2010 at 12:05am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous