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Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

#21441743
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (2149)

On 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm - work - by ineedaraise (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

#21493255
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (3287)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by weldingmachine217 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

#21443019
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (9508)

On 07/17/2015 at 12:40pm - money - by raquel (woman) - United States

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (3774)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

#21455438
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24934) - you deserved it (5472)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband put on a nice suit and asked me out to dinner. When he found out I was on my period, he decided to stay home instead, since there was "no point" anymore. FML

#21501460
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (2447)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:14pm - love - by alexa (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was with my girlfriend at lunch when a group of guys came over. They started calling her a whore and a bunch of other shit, so I cussed them out. Turns out she was not only cheating on me, but all the other guys too. FML

#21471177
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (2090)

On 09/21/2015 at 8:24pm - love - by Jgfenix - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

#21485302
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2547)

On 10/28/2015 at 1:23am - love - by FreeTacos_ - United States (Colorado)

Today, some wannabe molester actually used the "Do you know who my dad is?!" line on me as I threw him out of a club. Turns out his dad is my boss's brother. I'm now searching for a new job. FML

#21500663
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (1819)

On 12/06/2015 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I knocked a girl lightly in the head with a prop at a costume party. I apologized profusely to the drama queen as she walked away blinking and holding her head. My boyfriend then told me that she had recently had brain surgery and it was hard for her to even leave the house. FML

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

#21473642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (4416)

On 09/28/2015 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

#21492862
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (2085)

On 11/15/2015 at 4:00pm - love - by SadIndianLife (man) - India (Delhi)



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