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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to help the homeless by giving them old clothes and food. In return, they decided to mug me. FML

#20008267
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (2577)

On 08/07/2012 at 7:45pm - misc - by HazzaBoo - United States

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

#15514650
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32874) - you deserved it (3830)

On 03/27/2011 at 1:55pm - health - by hellosir - United States

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

#15298829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (12471)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:49pm - animals - by spaz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML

#15526729
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (3746)

On 03/28/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by calling_while_driving - United States (California)

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

#18761423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19460) - you deserved it (2007)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why it would be highly offensive and inappropriate for him to go as Caylee Anthony for Halloween. I think he's still planning on doing it. FML

#18030465
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (4451)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:32am - love - by Miroslav208 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML

#16756639
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (3511)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Hello (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad called, saying he was in town and that he wanted to see me. I was excited, thinking he wanted to come see my new apartment. Turns out he just wanted to borrow my Xbox. FML

#17813081
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (1968)

On 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by jccwell - United States

Today, I found out that if your boss deletes you off Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

#16541885
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29031) - you deserved it (3961)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:48am - work - by IloveMaroon5 - United States (Texas)

Today, I paid £140 for a train ticket. All the seats were full. When I sat in the corridor the guard yelled at me. I paid £140 to stand outside a stinking train toilet for 7 hours. FML

#15858799
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (2903)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Sivvus (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML

#18225132
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27722) - you deserved it (9420)

On 11/12/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by friedchicken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

#17513868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (3250)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm - love - by ddeit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (4364)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom



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