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Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML

#7007388
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19894) - you deserved it (3841)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:12am - intimacy - by marriagesux - United States

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23247) - you deserved it (3831)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML

#7124325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23705) - you deserved it (4795)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:04am - animals - by BW (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (4910)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got yelled at by one of my bosses. The reason? I was yawning. I work at Starbucks. Apparently I wasn't 'promoting' correctly. FML

#7467721
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (4104)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:29am - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML

#7416105
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27978) - you deserved it (2090)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by over_protected (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my boyfriends' mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

#7354557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29549) - you deserved it (5073)

On 01/15/2010 at 6:37am - love - by Jumja (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

#7276638
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23663) - you deserved it (9934)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:28am - work - by bs_happens (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

#8663349
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5901) - you deserved it (24526)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:43pm - animals - by Shinobi_3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex girlfriend that never moved out. FML

#8631765
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (2461)

On 02/25/2010 at 1:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

#13457559
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22248) - you deserved it (3629)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by IhatebeingtheDD - United States

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20731) - you deserved it (7535)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss quit his job and stopped coming in without warning. Guess who just inherited his tasks and responsibilities without the training or pay associated with his manager role. I was hired last year as a junior system admin. FML

#14267236
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (2698)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:29am - work - by promoted (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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