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Today, I was painting the garage door. After 3 hours, I finally finished the job. As I was walking back inside, accidentally pressed the button that opens and closes the garage door. Not only did the paint job get messed up as it went up, the paint also dripped onto my parents brand new car. FML

#2735407
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34558) - you deserved it (22100)

On 06/09/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML

#5069
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44612) - you deserved it (6726)

On 02/02/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by rained - Hong Kong

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

#62239
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39441) - you deserved it (2639)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by morg2000 - Mexico

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

#54081
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53876) - you deserved it (16142)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by pineapple456 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I returned from a half-month long trip to China with a group of friends. After throwing myself into my mother's arms and bursting into tears, she stops me to say 'Listen...these last couple of weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. Can we try to keep it like that?' FML

#89579
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39600) - you deserved it (4122)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by DuCkBuBbLeS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

#197366
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72265) - you deserved it (3242)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by JTo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML

#260115
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57954) - you deserved it (18019)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:53am - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss wanted to promote me to a managerial position. I declined the position saying I don't think I'm ready and experienced enough for that role. I was then fired instead for not accepting the promotion. I was fired for being honest. FML

#279633
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54350) - you deserved it (23969)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:01am - work - by Jobless (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML

#572607
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52467) - you deserved it (13614)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:18am - misc - by kha (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML

#914875
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37714) - you deserved it (13335)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by awesome (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

#1178108
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13702) - you deserved it (61547)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I picked up my passport, as my previous one was damaged in a car crash. As the teller warns me that a pattern of damaged passports will result in longer processing periods, she spills her coffee - all over my new passport. I'm supposed to go overseas in a month. FML

#1707668
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55530) - you deserved it (1921)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

#1722072
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46955) - you deserved it (13899)

On 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by weliveanddie14 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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