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Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

#14073142
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/03/2010 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9749) - you deserved it (33510)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm having a nice evening out on the town. After my complimentary round of drinks for my birthday, my friend walks in with a big pink gift-box. It was an inflatable... erm... 'friend.' Which then got unwrapped in front of several of my other friends. And several members of my family. FML

#10396972
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (4316)

On 05/07/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

#14319406
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (4769)

On 12/24/2010 at 2:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (3377)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML

#14450604
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (3886)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:28pm - misc - by insultedguy (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

#18336172
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20765) - you deserved it (8970)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

#14632650
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20760) - you deserved it (2742)

On 01/18/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by desertpunk75 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

#14548248
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8772) - you deserved it (19491)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to lunch with my sister. As the waitress was bringing our food, she dropped it on the floor. She apologized and brought us new food. After we finished eating and I looked at the bill, I noticed she'd charged us twice. FML

#17757615
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (2887)

On 09/16/2011 at 12:26pm - money - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (3020)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

#19375581
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15619) - you deserved it (4170)

On 03/30/2012 at 10:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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